


This Is Not The End

by PrettyInSoulPunk



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: 12 Days of Christmas, Angst, Christmas, Fluff, Getting Back Together, Holidays, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mutual Pining, Post-Break Up, Post-Hiatus, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:34:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 41,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28102509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyInSoulPunk/pseuds/PrettyInSoulPunk
Summary: When Niall gets back home, there's a package lying on the ground right inside of his security gate, but he doesn't see it until he nearly trips over it.It's small, so he figures it must have been pushed through the mail slot. Or maybe it was thrown over the wall because it feels soft enough not to be fragile. There's no postage or return address, just a holiday sticker with his name printed on it in handwriting that Niall doesn't recognize.~*~Set in December of 2018, this is my (incredibly belated) spin on a Secret Santa / 12 Days of Christmas prompt requested by the lovely Sarah, @NarryMyBed. ♥
Relationships: Niall Horan/Harry Styles
Comments: 24
Kudos: 66





	This Is Not The End

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NarryMyBed](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryMyBed/gifts).



> Where do I even start? I received this amazing prompt from Sarah forever ago (sometime in the fall of 2018) and I totally fell in love with her idea. It ended up taking a _lot_ longer to finish than I originally planned, but I poured my entire heart and soul into every single word. ♥
> 
> ( **Side note:** This fic is complete, but I do have an additional chapter that I want to add once I finish it. It was originally going to be an epilogue to this story, but time got away from me. I'm about halfway through it as we speak, so I'll just finish it up as quickly as I can and then add it as short second chapter.)

Christmas has always been Niall's favorite time of the year. 

The lights, the festivities, even the weather, despite the fact that Niall isn't particularly fond of the cold. There's something magical about it though, the way the snow crunches under his boots, and how nothing tastes better than his ma's hot chocolate after a busy morning of clearing the driveway with Greg. 

No matter how old the Horan brothers get, they're never too old to be put to work by their parents. Whether it's helping Maura in the kitchen or hanging the outdoor lights with Bobby, there's always an endless list of chores at one house or the other.

Niall would never admit it to anyone, but he actually enjoys mundane tasks like shoveling snow. Plus, it always gives him a chance to catch up with Greg.

These are the things Niall misses the most about being home for Christmas, especially since it's the one time of the year that he gets to see the majority of his family. They always make time for each other as often as they can, but it still doesn't compare to waking up on Christmas morning surrounded by music and laughter. 

Most of the time, Niall is lucky enough to make it home for the holidays, but this year he's going to have a proper California Christmas. He feels a pang of regret that he won't get to see Theo, but they'll still FaceTime which Niall always enjoys. 

On the bright side, most of Niall's friends will be in L.A. this year also, including Harry, which makes Niall's stomach flutter in ways he knows it probably shouldn't. Not anymore. 

He and Harry are just friends now, strictly speaking, but Niall can't deny that he wishes they were a lot more than that. They used to be, but sometimes it feels like it was all just a fever dream. They started dating officially just before One Direction's final tour, and they were blissfully happy together until the band decided to take a break.

The break itself wasn't to blame, but the timing was a big part of it. They both wanted very different things at the moment, which made it hard to properly maintain a relationship. They hardly spoke for a while afterward, but that had proven to be good for them in hindsight. Even though they're not together anymore, the time apart definitely accelerated the healing process. 

Niall still loves Harry, but more than anything, he's just happy that they're back in each other's lives again. The breakup had been painful, but the worst part for Niall was losing his best friend. Thankfully, they've been talking a lot more lately and they even hung out a few times back on tour whenever there were overlaps in their schedules.

It's been great reconnecting again, and Niall hopes they'll be able to spend a lot more time together now that they're both back in L.A. for the holidays. He has to put his thoughts about Harry aside for now though because there are only two weeks left until Christmas and Niall still has so much to do. He's already put up his tree and decorated the house, but he hasn't bought a single gift for anyone besides his family yet. 

He managed to get those mailed out already, but he still has a whole list of friends and associates to shop for. He doesn't usually wait until the last minute, but he recently had sinus surgery which required a significant recovery period. Niall felt much better after the first week, but his doctor insisted he take it easy for a while. Time quickly got away from him after that, and now Christmas is only a couple of weeks away. 

He might be off to a late start this year, but Niall is really looking forward to the holidays and spending time with his friends. Even Liam and Louis are coming for a visit, and Niall can't wait to have all his boys together again. He's already fixed up his guest rooms for them too because they'll be staying with him for the most part. They all have their own houses in the city, but it had been Liam's suggestion to stay together just like old times. 

It hurts Niall's heart to think about how long it's been since they've all hung out together as a group, but at least they'll be able to make up for some lost time.

*

Shopping so close to Christmas isn't as torturous as Niall feared it would be, but it hasn't been terribly successful either. He's only bought two gifts so far, but it's still early. He quickly pulls out his phone to check his list, and Tara is up next. Niall always spoils her, but she's the best assistant in the world and one of his closest friends. Shopping for her is easy, so he scrawls a few ideas down and then moves on to the next name. 

"Niall!" a familiar voice suddenly cuts through his thoughts as he looks up and sees Harry waving at him from across the street. He's just coming out of _SoulCycle_ and looking unfairly gorgeous for someone that has spent the last hour exercising. 

"Harry!" Niall shouts as he pockets his phone and rushes to meet Harry halfway. The sidewalk is fairly crowded, so it takes a minute of dodging people before they finally reach each other. Niall starts to lean for a hug, but Harry grabs his hand and leads him around the corner. 

"Didn't want to get trampled," Harry laughs before dragging Niall forward and hugging him tightly. 

"Good thinking," Niall says as he shamelessly enjoys the feeling of being in Harry's arms again. They've spoken quite a bit lately, but it's been a few months since they've seen each other. 

"It's good to see you, Ni," Harry murmurs as he pulls back and squeezes Niall's shoulder. "What are you up to?"

"Good to see you too, H. Just doing a bit of Christmas shopping," Niall says, holding up his bags as proof. "You?"

"I have an important lunch date, actually. Well, after I go home and get cleaned up first. Don't think I could show up looking like this," Harry laughs.

"Oh?" Niall tries to sound as casual as possible, even though he feels anything but. It's none of his business who Harry is having lunch with, but he can't help the sudden surge of jealousy bubbling up inside of him.

"Miss Ruby Winston has cordially invited me to tea," Harry explains as he pulls out his phone. He quickly thumbs through his texts until he finds the video he's looking for. "Ben sent it to me this morning," Harry says fondly before handing the phone over to Niall and pressing play.

"Oh my God, that's so cute!" Niall gushes, literally clutching his heart as he watches the video. It's absolutely adorable, and Niall is instantly relieved. He also feels a bit silly for being jealous over a two-year-old, but it's not like Harry has to know. 

"That's my little princess," Harry smiles. "Can't say no to that face, can I?"

"No, definitely not," Niall agrees as he passes Harry his phone back. "I better let you get to it then. Give everyone my best, yeah?" he asks before holding his arms out for another hug.

"Of course," Harry grins and winds himself around Niall like an octopus. He tucks his face against Niall's neck, and Niall has to fight back the urge to never let go. 

"See you soon, I hope?" Harry asks, breath warm against Niall's ear. 

"How about dinner tonight?" Niall suggests. It's a bit spontaneous, but he's weak when it comes to spending time with Harry. 

Harry pulls back and gives him a dazzling smile. "Sounds lovely. Text me later?"

"I will," Niall promises. 

"Gotta run now," Harry tells him, "but I'll see you tonight!" he adds happily before jogging back to _SoulCycle_ and disappearing into the adjacent parking garage. 

*

A few hours later, Niall is just getting back home when his phone buzzes in his pocket.

 _ **Sushi tonight?**_ Harry texts, which amuses Niall because he had been thinking the very same thing. He hasn't had it in quite a while, and it's a mutual favorite of theirs.

**_great minds ! was thinking that too !_ **

**_Really? :) Sushi Park, then? Unless you prefer someplace else?_ **

**_yea! sounds good .. what time ?_ **

**_How about 7?_ **

**_perfect ! see ya then H_**

Niall is on cloud nine. Not only will he get to see Harry again, but the restaurant is quiet and relatively private so they likely won't have to dodge any paps.

Since he's still got about three hours before dinner, Niall decides to go for a quick run to burn off some excess energy. That will still give him plenty of time to figure out what to wear without looking like he analyzed every possible outfit in his closet.

(Which of course he totally will.)

*

Dinner ends up being exactly what Niall was hoping for. They talked a lot, discussing everything from their writing progress to entertaining each other with funny stories from their tours, and it's the most relaxed that Niall has felt in a long time where Harry is concerned. 

It's definite progress, and Niall is relieved that they can finally be around each other again without feeling like there's a crushing weight on his heart. 

~*~

**12 days until Christmas**

Two days later, Niall has finally finished the majority of his shopping, including all of his online orders. He's gotten gifts for nearly everyone, but his biggest obstacle right now is Harry's gift. What could Niall possibly get for the person who has nearly everything he could ever need or want? 

There's practically nothing that Harry can't buy for himself that he doesn't already own, so Niall is really going to have to get creative. 

He's not sure what he's going to do yet, but at least he's got some time to figure it out. 

*

Three hours and several paper cuts later, Niall has all of his packages beautifully wrapped. 

He also has a stack of neatly printed Christmas cards that need to be mailed, even if some of the ones heading overseas might arrive a bit late. At least he's gotten a lot accomplished in one afternoon, he thinks, as he heads back out to the post office. He could have easily called Tara to take care of everything, but Niall really enjoys doing these types of things himself. 

When Niall gets back home, there's a package lying on the ground right inside of his security gate, but he doesn't see it until he nearly trips over it. 

It's small, so he figures it must have been pushed through the mail slot. Or maybe it was thrown over the wall because it feels soft enough not to be fragile. There's no postage or return address, just a holiday sticker with his name printed on it in handwriting that Niall doesn't recognize.

Niall tears into the package immediately, which is beautifully wrapped in red snowflake-covered paper. It turns out to be a pair of black socks patterned with neon spaceships and stars. Planets too, he notices as he turns the socks over and examines them further.

They're tacky as hell and Niall loves them. 

Just as he's folding the socks back up, he finds a small note peeking out from where it had been tucked away. It's printed in the same handwriting and it simply reads: 

_You're out of this world xx_

It's cheesy, sure, but it still makes Niall blush. The question is, who is it from? He's only been gone for about twenty minutes, so they must have stopped by while he was out. 

It's confusing to say the very least because none of his friends are really the secret gift-giving type. Especially not Harry, because he's the worst at keeping secrets when it comes to presents. 

Shawn, maybe? Niall knows that Shawn is in town too, but they haven't seen each other yet. It's definitely not Tara, that's for sure. Niall owns too many pairs of socks as it is, and she's always threatening to throw them out if he buys more. 

Whoever it is, it has to be someone who knows about his love for space and tacky socks since that's not exactly a generic combination. It's confusing and flattering all at the same time since it's obviously meant to be some kind of surprise. Niall gives up trying to figure it out for now though because he's in desperate need of pizza and beer. 

~*~

**11 days until Christmas**

The next morning, Niall is woken up by the persistent buzzing of his front gate. A quick peek at the surveillance app on his phone reveals nothing, so he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and heads outside to check. He's not expecting anyone either, so he can't imagine who it could be. 

"Hello?" He calls out as he jogs down to open up the security gate. No one replies, and there isn't anyone at the gate either, so Niall decides to walk a bit further out and check the street just in case. Maybe one of his neighbors is having car trouble or needs some other type of help. 

The street is completely empty though, so Niall is starting to think that maybe he was just hearing things. That, or maybe someone realized they were at the wrong house and took off. Hopefully, it wasn't the paparazzi just trying to sneak some pictures in, but at least he looks somewhat presentable. 

It's puzzling, but it's just as well that Niall is awake anyway. He's got some songs he wants to work on, and he could use a healthy dose of caffeine. 

As he heads back up to the house, that's when he makes the connection. 

Propped up against the wall next to the security gate is a square package wrapped in the same snowflake paper as the socks had been. Niall opens it immediately, and gasps when he sees that it's The Eagles _Hotel California_ album on vinyl. He already owns a copy of course, but it's cracked from where Louis accidentally sat on it last year. Niall has been meaning to replace it, but he just hasn't had a chance to yet.

He takes a quick mental stock of the people he might have mentioned that incident to, but it doesn't seem likely to be any of them. Once he's back in his bedroom, Niall pulls out his phone and rings Louis up on FaceTime.

"Oi oiiiii!" Louis greets Niall when he accepts the call. "How's it going, mate?"

"Remember when you broke my Eagles vinyl?" Niall asks in lieu of a reply. 

"Hello to you too, love," Louis laughs. "Are you seriously calling to guilt-trip me about that at arse o'clock your time?"

"Piss off," Niall grins at the screen as he crawls back into bed. "So wait, you're saying you didn't send me a new one?" 

"What are you on about? By the way, you're still picking Payno and I up tomorrow right?" Louis asks. "El is spending Christmas with her parents, so she's going to drop us off at the airport on the way." 

"I'll be there," Niall promises. He drops the album discussion for now because Louis didn't seem to know what he was talking about. 

"Thanks, mate; I'll text you the flight details later. Everything alright with you?" Louis asks.

"Aces, actually. Glad to be having you and Payno back around for a bit," Niall says, and he really means it. It's been a long year, and Niall really misses his boys.

"Just remember that when he makes you drink one of those abysmal health shakes of his. He still won't tell me what goes into them, but I'm pretty sure they're not meant for human consumption."

"Christ," Niall shudders because he still has a pretty vivid memory of the last one Liam made him try. They're not the worst thing Niall has ever tasted, but he considers hiding his blender just in case.

"Definitely not looking forward to those."

They chat for a few more minutes, and then Niall ends the call so he can get to writing. He's now got two mystery gifts and zero answers, but maybe Liam and Louis can help him figure it out when they arrive.

~*~

**10 days until Christmas**

Niall is on his way to the gym when he finds the third gift. 

He has a few hours before Louis and Liam's flight arrives, so he figures a good workout will kill some time. As he approaches his car, he notices a red envelope half-hidden under his windshield wiper. It has an "N" scrawled on the front in loopy calligraphy, along with several Christmas stickers. 

When he opens it, there's a cute greeting card inside with reindeer lounging on a beach and a [Go Play Golf](https://www.goplaygolf.com/) card. It's a brilliant idea as far as gifts go, not that Niall can't afford as many rounds of golf as he wants. It just proves that whoever it's from obviously knows him really well. Just as he's about to put the card back in the envelope, he notices a signature at the bottom which reads: 

_\- your secret Santa xx_

Gifts: three, answers: zero.

*

Niall hears Liam before he actually sees him because Liam has the brightest, most melodic laugh. It easily floats over all of the airport din, and Niall instantly recognizes the sound. It makes his heart ache for their touring days because Niall really misses it. 

He finally spots them over by the baggage claim, and they immediately smother him with hugs. He promised himself that he wouldn't get emotional, but it's hard when he's being held against Liam's chest with Louis snuggled under his chin. 

There are a couple of people taking pictures of them by this point, but Niall is too happy to care. The only thing that could possibly make this moment any better is if Harry were a part of it. Niall wishes he were there too, but that would draw a lot more attention than any of them is prepared to deal with.

Niall reluctantly breaks the hug so they can leave the airport before swarms of fans start showing up. Not that he minds meeting people, but he's selfish and wants Liam and Louis all to himself for a while. 

~*~

**9 days until Christmas**

The next morning over breakfast, Niall tells them about his mysterious gifts and hopes they might be able to help him figure it out.

"Secret Santa?" Liam mumbles around a mouthful of avocado-egg toast as Louis and Niall wince in disgust.

 _"Really?"_ Louis asks, giving Liam a playful shove. "I swear you just ordered that to piss me off."

"Give it a taste," Liam smiles as he holds a piece up to Louis' mouth, "you might actually like it."

"Bet you say that to all the boys," Louis teases as he swats Liam's hand away.

"Tommo!" Liam hisses as he smears some avocado on Louis' nose in retaliation. Liam is beet red, and Louis nearly chokes from laughing so hard. 

"Hello? Can we please focus?" Niall asks, gesturing frantically.

"Sorry," Liam and Louis both reply in unison and give Niall their undivided attention.

"Someone has to say it," Louis nudges Niall's foot under the table, "do you think it could be Harry? With all the gifts, I mean?"

Niall sighs. "I suppose it could be, but you know how Harry is about gifts. He's awful at keeping secrets, but I won't cross him off the list of suspects just yet." 

"It's not a criminal investigation, mate. It's supposed to be fun," Liam says as he reaches out to squeeze Niall's hand. "Someone obviously fancies you."

Louis gives Niall a pointed look. "Or, perhaps never _stopped_ fancying you."

Niall throws a napkin at him. "It's not Harry," he says decisively. "We've just, we're not..." he trails off as he searches for the right words. " _There_ , I guess? Not yet, anyway," he says finally. Even though Harry is terrible at keeping secrets, it's admittedly the kind of thing he might do. Or attempt to do, for as long as he could hold out. He's been busy writing songs for his new album though, and producing a TV show on top of that; he doesn't have time for silly holiday games.

"What about Shawn?" Liam asks.

Niall just shrugs. "Could be, but he's been pretty busy this week."

"Busy trying to win you over, maybe?" Louis smirks. 

"Bloody hell, Tommo! Are you ever _not_ trying to play matchmaker?" Niall snaps. 

"C'mon Nialler, the lad's fit! Surely you've noticed?" Louis says and Niall can feel his face burning. 

Obviously, Niall has noticed. Anyone with functioning eyesight knows that Shawn is beautiful. 

They're just friends though because Niall's heart has belonged to Harry since he was sixteen. Shawn is sweet, and Niall adores him, but he wishes everyone would stop trying to pair them up already. He's not exactly against the idea, but he knows he could never feel for Shawn even a fraction of what he will always feel for Harry. It just wouldn’t be fair to either of them. 

"I'm sure you'll figure it all out soon enough," Liam smiles. Bless his little heart; Niall can always count on Liam to diffuse tense situations. "Christmas is coming up, so I imagine they're probably planning some sort of reveal, " Liam guesses.

"I hope so because this is driving me mad," Niall laughs, while stealing a bite of Liam's toast.

He remembers a second too late that there's avocado layered under the egg, but he'll never admit that it's actually pretty delicious. 

(Louis would disown him.)

*

Later that evening, they're having drinks at Mully's bar, 40 Love, when Niall sees a very familiar face slinking in through a private entrance.

 _Harry_. 

The bar is open to the public, but it's got a couple of secluded sections that Niall only feels slightly snobby for hiding out in. He's been trying to get Harry to come to visit since it opened, and suddenly he shows up looking like a prince with soft curls framing his face. 

"Shit," Niall whispers as he gives himself a once-over. He looks decent enough, and he's even wearing a shirt that Harry gave him several birthdays ago.

"Everything okay?" Liam asks, and that's when Niall looks up and sees Harry walking towards them. 

"Yeah, all good. I just wasn't expecting to see Haz tonight, that's all," Niall says.

"You're weeeeelcome," Louis sings against Niall's ear and pinches his cheek.

Niall is extremely grateful for the late hour and the relatively private atmosphere, especially since this is the first time in two years that they've all been in the same room together. He'll probably strangle Louis later, but he's really happy to see Harry again. The problem, however, is that Louis and Liam both know exactly how _not_ over Harry Niall is, and he always worries that someone (Louis) will probably say something incriminating. Then Niall will have to smother someone (Louis) in their sleep.

Harry rushes up to them, and tackles Liam and Louis in a fierce group hug. "It's been way too fucking long," he tells them before pulling back and wiping at his misty eyes with his sleeve. 

"Hey, who's fault is that?" Louis jokes as he slides his arms around Harry and pulls him close.

"Wanker," Harry laughs as he continues to dab at his eyes. He has always been the most emotional of the bunch, but they wouldn't have him any other way. "I don't even know why I missed you."

"Because I'm a fucking delight," Louis says and hugs Harry tighter.

"Tommo, stop being greedy," Liam huffs as he pries them apart and scoops Harry up into a proper bear hug. "Missed you, babe," he murmurs against Harry's ear and hugs him hard.

"Missed you too, Leeyum," Harry giggles and rubs at Liam's beard. "So scruffy," he grins.

"Might be time for a trim," Liam observes as he lets Harry continue to pet him.

"No, I like it," Harry smiles. "You look really good, Li." 

"Thanks," Liam smiles back and leans in to kiss Harry's cheek. "You're looking pretty good yourself."

Niall can't help smiling fondly at their exchange because he's missed this so much. The last time they were all together wasn't under the happiest of circumstances, so he's really glad they can finally make some new memories. 

"My turn," Niall says as he reaches out to tug Harry into his arms. He thinks he might have heard a few camera clicks, but he doesn't seem to notice anyone paying them any attention.

"I love that shirt on you," Harry smiles when they pull apart. 

"Thanks," Niall blushes and hopes that Harry doesn't notice. "It's my favorite."

"Mine too," Harry says as he graciously accepts the drink that Louis offers him. He then grabs the stool next to Niall's and sits far too close for comfort. Their thighs are pressed together even, and Niall hopes that Harry can't tell how nervous he is. 

"To old friends?" Liam suggests, holding his own drink up for a toast.

"To _best_ friends," Harry corrects, eyes sparkling with the faintest hint of unshed tears. 

*

Several hours and drinks later, they're attempting to settle the bar tab when their server informs them that it's already been paid.

"By who?" Harry asks, puzzled. 

"Probably Mully," Niall guesses, but the server shakes her head. 

"All I'm allowed to say is that you have a pre-paid tab to last for several visits, Mr. Horan, so enjoy!" she smiles as she accepts the tip that Niall hands her. 

"Secret Santa strikes again!" Louis says before chugging the rest of his beer. 

"Who?" Harry asks, so Niall quickly relays the story.

"Wow. They're certainly very generous," Harry notices as he takes a look at their tab. 

"Seems like someone's got a massive crush on our Nialler," Liam adds with an exaggerated wink.

"They've obviously got good taste," Harry says as he squeezes Niall's knee under the table.

The fact that Niall doesn't drop his beer in shock is truly a holiday miracle. 

~*~

**8 Days until Christmas**

It's been five days so far, and Niall's secret Santa hasn't skipped a single one. Today's gift, while thoughtful and practical, has Niall's head spinning a bit. It's a new pair of earbuds that are nearly identical to the ones that he accidentally broke a while back. 

They're wired even, which means his admirer has been doing their homework. While Niall appreciates most wireless technology, he hates having to keep track of separate earbuds. 

Notably, Harry is the only person who knew about his broken pair, because he was there when it happened. 

They were both in L.A. on a mutual tour break when Harry surprised Niall by inviting him over for dinner. It wasn't anything fancy, just some takeaway, but he made sure to order a variety of Niall's favorites. Niall's earbuds must have fallen out of his pocket at some point and then he accidentally stepped on them and snapped the cord. 

They were his favorite pair, which had been a gift from his partnership with Bose, and his new ones are almost an exact replica. 

He discovered them at the studio earlier when he stopped by to record some tracks, but no one seems to know where they came from. It's still one big mystery to Niall, but he loves that someone has obviously put a lot of thought into surprising him.

 ** _Thank you , secret Santa_** Niall tweets on a whim because he's been radio silent online for the past few days. Liam, Shawn, Tara, and even Harry all like the tweet almost immediately. Louis - being the little shit that he is - retweets it instead, and Niall watches in fascination as the notifications start rolling in. 

Harry is almost never on twitter, much less interacting with the rest of them, so Niall fully intends on ignoring the impending internet explosion.

Instead, he grabs his favorite notebook and heads outside to lounge by the pool. Liam and Louis are out shopping, so it's the perfect time for Niall to get some more writing done. He's already got two songs written for his next album, and he's well on his way to completing a third. 

The album itself still needs a title though. 

_Heartbreak Weather_ he writes, which is the first thing that pops into his head. He's not even sure where that thought came from, but he loves the way it sounds. 

"Heartbreak Weather," he says aloud, smiling to himself.

It's perfect. 

~*~

**7 Days until Christmas**

Gift number six makes Niall cry. 

Not just a sniffle either, but big tears rolling down his face after he rips off the wrapping paper to reveal a framed picture of One Direction. It's one of his favorites actually, from the _Made In The A.M._ photoshoot, and the caption etched into the bottom of the frame reads: 

_This is not the end_

He finds it lying under his Christmas tree when he heads downstairs, because the red paper stands out in contrast to all of the other packages. Niall has wrapped the others in bright green paper, so he immediately spots the addition. 

He assumes that Liam or Louis knows how it got there, but a couple of quick texts confirm that they don't. It's both intriguing and unsettling because either they're lying about it, or someone has been in Niall's house that morning. The only thing that gives him any comfort about the matter is the fact that the gifts are obviously from someone very close to him.

Someone that his security team would trust to let themselves into his house without question. That narrows the list down to five people: Liam, Louis, Shawn, Tara, and Harry. Or Mully, but he technically still lives there even though he spends the majority of his time staying with his girlfriend these days. Still, one of them has to be behind it all, or someone is using at least one of Niall's best friends as an accomplice. 

The emotions hit Niall with such force that he has to sit for a minute with his head between his knees. Once he's sure he's not about to faint, he picks up the frame again. It brings back so many memories, and Niall really loves that particular shot because Harry has his chin propped on Niall's shoulder. What the camera didn't capture though, was the way they held hands behind Niall's back, and the kisses Harry would sneak in every time the photographer looked away. 

Niall remembers everything about that day so clearly. 

They were so excited over the prospect of having actual time off, that they could barely contain their excitement. No one thought of it as an end, it was merely a pause. A chance to breathe, to see their families, to travel the world, and actually get to see more than the inside of posh hotel rooms. They all agreed that it would be good for them, but they promised the break wouldn't last for more than a year. Maybe eighteen months, tops.

And, well, everyone knows how that turned out. 

Niall would like to believe that there's still hope for a reunion, but he's honestly not sure if the timing will ever be right. Has their window of opportunity closed? Furthermore, would Harry even want to be a part of the band again? Liam and Louis are still emphatically on board this point, but that could easily change when they release their own albums. 

The gift makes Niall feel considerably relieved though because maybe this is the sign he's been waiting for. 

He doesn't need them to reunite right away, but Niall just loves knowing that it's still a possibility. He's more than ready for it, and he's even publicly admitted to the fact that he would drop everything the minute he got the call. 

Whoever his secret Santa is, they _really_ hit home with this one.

 ** _This is not the end_** Niall quickly tweets while he's riding the wave of nostalgia. He knows it's shitty of him to put that out there without context, but he really needs an outlet for his emotions. 

About thirty seconds later, his phone lights up with a new text message from Louis:

**_congrats on breaking the internet, you dickhead. cheers!_ **

Niall laughs so hard that he starts tearing up for a different reason.

He ends up hanging the photo on the wall just off to the side of his kitchen, which is one of his favorite spots to display pictures. He has quite a few up there already, but he rearranges them so that his new one shines brightly in the center. It doesn't really match any of the others, but Niall actually likes the effect. His eyes are immediately drawn to it when he looks over, and he can't stop smiling. 

As a band, they had so many great memories together and Niall hopes they will continue to make new ones in the future. 

As he stands there admiring the picture, he's suddenly hit with an idea of what to give Harry for Christmas: he wants to make him a photo album. Not just any album, but one filled with rare pictures of them that Harry has probably forgotten about. Maybe ones he's never even seen before since Niall has collected so many over the years. 

Since Louis and Liam are busy playing FIFA, Niall decides to start working on his idea while it's still fresh in his mind.

He briefly considers having the pictures developed somewhere, but he's pretty sure they'll end up on the internet if he does that. So instead, he makes a quick trip to Staples, and he picks up some glossy paper and extra ink for his printer. He also finds a really nice photo album and even some metallic pens that he can use to write captions with.

Once he's back home with all of his supplies, Niall convinces Liam and Louis to pause their game so they can help him sort through the pictures. The selection process takes a lot longer than Niall thought it would, but he's finally ready to put the album together. 

It takes Niall most of the afternoon to finish it, but it ends up being exactly what he was hoping for.

Now he just has to work up the nerve to actually give it to Harry.

~*~

**6 days until Christmas**

Gift number seven arrives via express mail the next morning while Niall is in the middle of making breakfast.

"Got a package, mate!" Liam hollers as he heads back into the kitchen with it. "No return address though," he notes as he examines the label. "Secret Santa maybe?"

"Thanks, just set it on the table and I'll open it later," Niall says and goes back to flipping pancakes. He's curious of course, but he would rather wait and open it when he's alone. Not that there has been anything to be embarrassed about so far, but Niall would still rather do it in private.

"Or I could open it for you now," Louis insists as he picks up the box and shakes it.

Niall isn't too keen on the idea, but he supposes it can't be that bad. Plus, it will keep Louis entertained while Niall finishes cooking. 

"Have at it," Niall says he puts a kettle on. He's already made coffee for himself and Liam, but Louis prefers tea.

Louis quickly tears into the package, which turns out to be a box of cologne by Hugo Boss. "Not particularly original, but still pretty thoughtful," Louis smiles. 

"Nice," Niall nods because it's his favorite, so clearly someone knows his style. 

"Oh, there's a card too," Liam says as he checks the discarded box. "So you can always smell as sexy as you look," he reads aloud in a sultry voice that makes Niall blush to the tips of his ears. 

Someone wants him to smell _sexy_ and it makes Niall feel warm all over. Especially because he really wants it to be Harry, despite all of his doubts.

"Aw, he's blushing!" Liam teases.

Niall flips him off immediately. "Fuck off, Payno."

He doesn't mean it of course, but this is exactly why he wanted to open the gift in private.

"So is anyone going to say it, or do I have to do all the work around here?" Louis asks a few minutes later when they've sat down to eat.

"What's that?" Niall asks, before digging into his food. 

"The gift?" Louis says like it's obvious. "And the fact that it's always been one of Harry's favorites?"

"Nice try, but Harry usually wears Tom Ford," Niall reminds him. 

"Fair enough," Louis grins, "but I meant the fact that he's always loved it on _you_."

Niall nearly chokes on his pancakes.

*

 ** _Are you busy?_**

Harry texts him later that evening, which has Niall smiling down at his phone. Even if he was busy, Niall isn't ashamed to admit that he would immediately clear his schedule. Not that Harry has to know that, of course. Niall does happen to be free though unless you count watching Liam and Louis lounging around in their underwear and eating all of his food, which Niall does not. 

Niall waits a few minutes before he replies because he doesn't want Harry to think his phone is always attached to his hand.

_**just watchin telly w lads** _

_**whats up ?**_ he quickly adds, because he figures Harry has a reason for asking.

Niall's phone rings a few seconds later, and he can see Harry's contact image pop up. He should probably change it, he realizes, but it's one of his favorite pictures of the two of them. It's from several years ago when they took a selfie in front of Hogwarts while they were in Orlando. Niall is holding up a Butterbeer and Harry is kissing his cheek. 

"Hey," Niall says when the call connects, "are you okay?" He's not sure what Harry could be calling about so he quickly heads upstairs to his room. He knows Liam and Louis will bug him about it later, but he can't think as clearly knowing that they'll be hanging onto every word.

"Everything's fine," Harry assures him. "I was just thinking about having a movie night, but it's no fun without people to watch with. Want to come over? Bring Lou and Liam too, if they're up for it."

Niall's stomach dips happily at the thought of getting to spend more time with Harry, even if they won't be alone. He's fine with that though because he loves having all of his boys together. He had a great time with them at the bar, and he's more than ready to do it again.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll round them up and pop over in a bit. Can I bring anything?"

"Thank you, but I think I have everything we need. Drive safe!" Harry says as he ends the call.

"Harry's invited us over to watch movies," Niall calls out as he heads back down to the living room. "You two in?"

"Thanks for the offer," Louis smiles, "but we have plans."

"We do?" Liam asks, obviously confused.

"We _do_ ," Louis emphasizes as he gives Liam a nudge. "We have Christmas presents to wrap, remember?"

Liam is slow on the uptake, but he finally gets it. "Oh, right! Yeah, sorry Nialler. Maybe next time," he giggles as Louis stifles a laugh. They might be amazing musicians, but they suck at acting.

"Subtle," Niall snorts. "It's not what you're thinking, so you can just put that right out of your minds."

"You mean Harry didn't include us to be polite when he obviously just wants to spend time with _you_?" Louis asks.

"No," Niall rolls his eyes, "he invited the lot of us because we're his _friends_ , and he wants to spend more time with all of us."

As much as Niall wishes that Louis was right, he and Harry have been broken up for years, and Niall is obviously the only one still pining for what they once had.

"Hey," Liam says seriously, "just keep an open mind, okay? You don't have to go over there with any expectations, but just don't close yourself off to the fact that this could mean something more." 

"I will," Niall smiles as he reaches out to ruffle Liam's hair. It's gotten so much longer since the last time they saw each other and Niall loves it like this. 

"Don't overthink it, mate," Louis adds. "Just go have fun."

"Yes, mum," Niall nods and then looks down at what he's wearing. "Do I look all right or should I change?"

"Change," Liam says immediately as he gets up off of the couch and grabs Niall by the hand. "We'll find you something sexier because those joggers are doing absolutely nothing for your arse."

"My arse and I resent that," Niall laughs, but Liam probably has a valid point. 

*

Twenty minutes later, Niall is pulling up to Harry's house and trying to compose himself. He's a little anxious, but he's still genuinely excited for them to spend more time together. He really doesn't want to read too much into it, but things have been going so well between them lately. Harry has been putting a lot more effort into their friendship too because he initiates their calls and texts just as much as Niall does. Not that Niall is keeping score, but it's just nice to know that he's still important to Harry. Regardless of whatever else they are (or have been) to each other, their friendship always comes first. 

Before Niall can even make it up the driveway, Harry is already rushing outside to greet him. He's wearing a pair of purple corduroy trousers and an old Eagles T-shirt of Niall's that Niall thought he lost years ago.

"So that's where my shirt disappeared to," Niall jokingly accuses. "I thought I lost it like three tours ago."

"Sorry," Harry says, "it must have accidentally gotten mixed in with my stuff."

"Accidentally," Niall smirks. "I bet if I checked your closet right now, I'll probably find loads more of my old clothes, won't I?" 

"Probably," Harry laughs and pulls Niall into his arms once they're close enough to touch.

Hugging Harry is one of Niall's most favorite things to do because he loves how protected it makes him feel. Even when things were at their worst, Harry's hugs still managed to comfort him and make him feel like they would eventually be all right. 

Now, standing outside of Harry's house on a cool December evening, Niall feels like maybe they really will be. 

"Dirty thief," Niall laughs and buries his face against Harry's neck. It's only been a couple of days since they've seen each other, but it still somehow seems like a lot longer. 

"Where's your entourage?" Harry asks as he drapes an arm around Niall's shoulder and guides him into the house. 

"They had some stuff to do, so it's just us tonight," Niall explains as they head to the kitchen.

"More food for us then," Harry smiles. 

The heavenly smell of pizza immediately assaults Niall's senses and causes his stomach to grumble. He hasn't eaten since breakfast that morning and now he's suddenly starving.

"Always know the way to my heart, don't you?" Niall says as Harry pulls two beers out of the fridge. The words leave his mouth before he has time to consider the implications, but the shy smile that Harry gives him in return is more than worth it.

"I guess some things never change," Harry winks as he pops the beers open.

Luckily the oven timer goes off a second later because Niall has no idea what to say to that. Is Harry flirting? Is he just being nostalgic?

Harry quickly slices up the pizza and loads a generous amount onto a snack tray along with their beers. "C'mon, let's go pick out a movie."

Within the first ten minutes of _Love Actually_ , Harry gravitates to Niall's side of the couch and curls up against him. Instinctively, Niall wraps an arm around him and tries not to think too hard about what it all means. Relationship issues aside, they've always been pretty close, so it's not uncommon for them to share their personal space so freely. 

"Is this okay?" Harry asks as he drops his hand to Niall's knee and traces an invisible pattern on his jeans. 

Niall gives him a soft smile and then reaches down to slot their fingers together. "Always," he says as he rubs his thumb over the back of Harry's hand. 

About an hour later, Harry untangles himself from Niall so he can use the restroom. "Gotta wee," he whispers before sprinting down the hall. 

Niall pauses the movie even though they've both seen it countless times, as he reaches for his forgotten beer. It's unlike him to ever neglect alcohol, but he didn't want to move after Harry got comfortable. The beer is lukewarm now, but Niall quickly downs the rest to help calm his frayed nerves. He was fine earlier, but being pressed up against Harry for so long has gotten his heart racing. 

He really wishes he knew what Harry was feeling, but he's not about to make things awkward by asking. Not this soon, anyway. Not when they've only just started spending more time together. Maybe it doesn't mean anything at all, since Harry is a very tactile person and always loves cuddling with his friends. 

Niall isn't expecting Harry to resume their seating arrangement when he returns, but that's exactly what happens. Harry crawls right back into the warmth of Niall's arms and snuggles up close. Possibly even closer than before, with his head fitting perfectly in the crook of Niall's neck like it always has.

"I missed this," Harry says, voice vibrating against Niall's neck as he leans in and nuzzles it. "Missed _you_."

"I missed you too, H," Niall replies as he lays his head against Harry's and restarts the movie. He feels a bit more relaxed now, thankfully, even though he hasn't held Harry like this in a really long time.

*

"Want another beer?" Harry asks when the movie ends. They're still pressed close together, but somehow Harry has ended up being spooned against Niall's chest with Niall's arms wrapped around him. (Niall certainly isn't complaining.) 

"Is the sky blue?" Niall laughs as they attempt to extract themselves from each other and escape the plush softness of Harry's couch. 

"Actually, no," Harry says as he helps Niall up. "It just looks that way. When sunlight reaches the atmosphere, all the gasses and particles in the air cause it to scatter. Blue light travels in shorter waves, which creates the appearance of a blue sky," Harry finishes with a triumphant smile.

Niall wants to kiss him. He doesn't though, which is a true test of his willpower considering they're standing only a couple of inches apart. 

"Very impressive," Niall grins. He's not taking the piss either, and he hopes Harry can tell. While Niall's geeky knowledge typically covers subjects like music or sports, Harry's is a lot more well-rounded. He knows so much about a variety of things and it really is impressive. He reads a lot too, (way more than Niall does) and Niall has always admired that about him. 

"Thank you," Harry says, flashing him a radiant smile. "You know I'm always ready to flaunt my knowledge of random facts."

"And you know I love hearing them," Niall says as he impulsively wraps his arms around Harry's neck and hugs him. 

"You're so good for my ego," Harry murmurs as he hugs Niall back.

Niall doesn't reply, he just holds on to Harry for a few seconds longer than he probably should before they eventually pull away.

While Harry grabs the beers, Niall excuses himself for a quick bathroom break and then they meet back in the living room a few minutes later. 

"Perfect timing," Harry smiles as he hands Niall his beer. "The movie is all queued up too," he adds as he stretches out onto one of the reclining chairs. Niall tries not to feel too disappointed by that, even though he can't blame Harry for wanting to relocate. 

The recliners are extremely comfortable, and they have multiple heat and massage settings. Niall could sit in the other one actually, but then he would be too far away from Harry since it's on the opposite side of the room. 

"Cheers," Niall says as he accepts the bottle and heads back over to the couch. He doesn't get very far though, because Harry reaches out to stop him.

"Where are you going?" Harry asks as he curls his fingers around Niall's wrist and tugs gently.

"To sit?" Niall laughs, like it should be obvious. 

"So _sit_ ," Harry insists as he pats the space next to him. "Unless you don't want to cuddle with me?" he pouts.

"Oh," Niall blushes as he lets Harry pull him down. "Well of course I do," he says while looping an arm around Harry's neck. Not only to emphasize his point, but also for balance since there's hardly any extra room. He might just go up in flames being so close to Harry, but Niall can definitely think of worse ways to die. 

"Good," Harry grins while pulling Niall closer and tangling their legs together. 

"So what are we watching next?" Niall asks once they're both settled. He really doesn't care what movie it is, because he's too busy trying to process the fact that he's practically sitting on Harry's lap.

"Goblet of Fire," Harry answers cheerfully. 

"Okay," Niall says slowly, drawing the word out. "Just out of curiosity, why are we starting from the middle of the series?"

"It's a bit Christmassy?" Harry shrugs. "Well, sort of. It has the Yule Ball so I guess it counts. Plus, it's one of my favorites."

"Fair enough," Niall says as he takes a long pull from his beer. It's one of his favorites too, so he is more than happy to watch it. Not that he wouldn't watch literally anything at this point, as long as he gets to cuddle with Harry. 

"It's also when Ron and Hermione start realizing that they can't keep denying their feelings for each other," Harry points out, which shocks Niall so much that he nearly drops his beer. 

Sweet Jesus. _When life imitates art_ , Niall thinks as his heart skips a beat. 

"They're obviously mad for each other," Harry continues. "Plus, there's just something special about best friends falling in love, don't you think?"

What is Harry _doing_?

"Yeah," Niall agrees, and wonders if they're still talking about the film. Especially because Harry is looking at him curiously, like he's trying to gauge Niall's reaction. Maybe Liam and Louis were right, maybe this _does_ mean something more to him. As much as Niall wants to believe that, he can't. Not yet. His nerves still feel too raw and exposed, and he's not going to attempt reading between the lines in case he's wrong. Besides, it's not like he has to have all the answers right now. 

He's going to follow Liam's advice, though. He'll keep an open mind, but he has to reserve at least an ounce or two of self-preservation to protect his heart. 

Harry drops the subject after that, but he tightens his hold on Niall as he starts the movie. 

The last thing Niall remembers before he inadvertently falls asleep, is the brush of soft lips against his neck as he starts drifting off. 

*

When Niall wakes up the next morning, he's treated to the sight of Harry's glorious ass in baby blue yoga pants as he stretches in front of the TV. Shirtless, even. 

"What time is it?" Niall croaks as he shoves off the blanket that Harry must have covered him with and searches for his phone. He tries not to sneak glances at Harry, but he fails miserably.

"About seven-thirty," Harry replies and continues to stretch like he's completely oblivious to Niall's pain. 

"Fuck," Niall groans, "I didn't mean to fall asleep, sorry."

"Don't be," Harry tells him. "It was getting late, and I probably passed out right after you did."

Huh. So does that mean they slept in the chair together, or did Harry eventually get up and go to his own bed? Niall wants to know, but he doesn't dare ask. 

"We're such party animals," Niall laughs as he checks his pockets. "Have you seen my phone? I'm pretty sure I brought it in with me."

"Yeah, hang on," Harry says as he reaches for Niall's phone that he's thoughtfully plugged in for him. "You got a few texts from the lads last night, so I let them know you were staying over. I also noticed you haven't changed your security code," he pointedly adds.

_Fuck._

Harry's right, Niall hasn't. His code has been 020194 - Harry's birthday - for as long as he can remember.

"No, uh, not yet," Niall says as he nervously runs his fingers through his hair. "Probably should, though."

"I'm glad you didn't," Harry smiles as he hands Niall the phone. "Although, I think they may have gotten the wrong idea."

"Oh God," Niall groans as he quickly checks his messages. The first two are from Liam, just generally asking how things were going. The third is from Louis, with an attached picture of a toy guitar he'd gotten for Freddie, and the last one is from Louis again around midnight, asking if Niall would be home soon. That's the one Harry finally replied to and Niall can feel himself blushing as he reads the thread.

 _ **decided to stay over, so I'll see you both in the morning**_ Harry had sent, pretending to be Niall.

"Oh Jesus," Niall winces as he reads Louis' reply.

 _ **dont forget to use protection!!**_ which is followed by a string of lewd emojis. 

"Christ. We really need new friends," Niall jokes weakly as he pockets his phone. 

"Nah, it's way too much work breaking in new ones," Harry teases as he drops down onto his couch.

"Fair point."

"So I was thinking about heading out to grab some breakfast and then maybe do some Christmas shopping if you'd like to join me?" Harry asks. 

As much as Niall would love that, he knows he should head back home. Not that he's required to entertain Liam and Louis, but they are his guests after all. Plus, he really needs to clear his head after last night. He has no idea what it meant for Harry, if anything, and the last time Niall followed his heart, it got broken. He wants this to mean something, but he can't just jump into it so suddenly.

_Everything comes back to you_

His own lyric echoes in Niall's mind as he remembers the feel of Harry's lips against his skin last night. Had Harry done it on purpose, or was it just something he did subconsciously?

"I'd love to, really, but I should probably get going. I have a few things I need to get done today, and I'm sure Payno and Tommo are running out of food by now. Either that or they're surviving on pizza and cereal," Niall says. He's probably not wrong on both counts.

"Raincheck?" Harry asks hopefully.

"Absolutely," Niall agrees as he gets up from the recliner and stretches his legs. 

Harry stands up at the same moment and makes his way over to Niall. "I look forward to it," he says as he pulls Niall into a hug.

"Me too," Niall grins as he wraps his arms around Harry's neck. Before he can overthink it, he pulls back and kisses Harry's cheek. It's not something he hasn't done a thousand times by now anyway, even before they ever started dating. 

"C'mon, I'll walk you to the car," Harry offers as he links his arm with Niall's.

On the way out, Niall makes a quick stop at Harry's bathroom and he's a bit surprised by his reflection in the mirror. He looks well-rested for one, but he also looks a lot happier. 

The more time he spends with Harry, the better Niall feels about them. Even if they don't end up back together, Niall can make peace with that. More than anything, he just loves mending their dynamic because Harry is too important to him to ever lose touch with again.

Once he gets home, Niall doesn't even make it more than ten steps into the house before he's being ambushed.

"Tell us _everything_ ," Liam demands as he drags Niall into the kitchen. Louis is a lot less chipper but looks equally interested as he trudges along behind them. 

"Right pain in my arse you both are," Niall says as he turns on his coffee maker and puts on a kettle for Louis.

"Has your arse received any other attention recently?" Louis asks and reaches out to bump his fist against Liam's.

Niall wants to be annoyed with them, but he's way too happy. 

~*~

**5 days until Christmas**

"Cordo!" Niall greets James as he steps into his office. He stopped by the set of the _Late Late Show_ at James' request to go over the details of his next cameo. James loves having his friends pop up at random times during the shows, and he has some ideas that he wants to run by Niall. 

"Great to see you, mate," James says as he wraps Niall up in a bear hug. "Not going back home for the holidays this year?" he asks.

Niall shakes his head. "Nah, got too much going on here at the minute, but I'll pop back 'round for a proper visit after the new year." 

"At least you won't freeze your arse off just yet," James laughs, while gesturing for Niall to sit with him.

"Please don't remind me," Niall groans. "How is the family?"

"They couldn't be more perfect," James smiles fondly. 

"Glad to hear it," Niall says as he claps James on the shoulder. "Now tell me about your brilliant ideas."

*

Half an hour later, one of James' assistants peeks into the room. "I'm so sorry to interrupt," she says, looking a bit embarrassed, "but I have a delivery for Mr. Horan."

"For me?" Niall asks, because who could possibly know he's here besides James?

"Yes sir," she nods as she makes her way over to him. She's holding a big vase full of sunflowers and they're beautiful. Niall hasn't ever been all that attached to flowers, but he's also never received any, either. "These were delivered for you a few minutes ago."

"Thank you," Niall smiles as he accepts the vase. He carefully sets it down on a nearby table and eyes James suspiciously. 

"What do you know?"

"Me? How should I know anything? I've been here working all day," James says, looking entirely too innocent. "Maybe you should read the card."

"No one knows I was coming here today, not even Liam or Louis. They're at the gym, and we're all supposed to meet up for lunch later. I didn't even tell them I was stopping by," Niall snaps. He doesn't mean to sound so annoyed, but he knows James is lying to him.

"Whoa, calm down mate. They're just flowers, not a bomb."

"I know," Niall sighs, "Sorry. It's just that I've been getting all of these secret gifts for the past week and I have no idea who they're from. They keep showing up in odd places and it's driving me mad," Niall explains.

"I think it means someone fancies you," James winks. 

Niall plucks the card out from where it's hidden between the flowers. "That's what Liam said too."

 _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know Niall, how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away_ the card reads, with the secret Santa signature scrawled underneath.

"See what I mean?" Niall sniffs as he hands James the card. It's just a modified line from a silly song he's heard dozens of times, so he's not sure why it's making him so emotional. 

James claps enthusiastically after reading the card. "Oh, this is so exciting! Any idea who it might be from?"

"You really don't know?" Niall glares at him. "Like _really_?"

"Literally no idea," James says, "but this is adorable and I'm sure your admirer will reveal himself soon enough."

 _"Himself?"_ Niall's jaw drops because that's the first solid clue he's gotten from anyone yet. 

"Or herself!" James quickly amends. "Themselves, perhaps? These are progressive times, Niall. Could be anyone."

"Could be," Niall says flatly. He doesn't believe James for a single second, but his admirer has obviously gone to great lengths to ensure everyone's silence. 

"Anyway, sorry to rush you off, but I have a meeting in ten. I'll email you the rest of the details about the show segment though," James says as he hands Niall the vase and walks him to the door. "See you soon, love," James smiles and leans in to give Niall a smacking kiss on the cheek before literally shoving him out of the office.

"Wanker!" Niall shouts, not caring who can hear him. He's not mad, just frustrated because James obviously knows something. As much as Niall appreciates all the gifts, he really hopes it's not a big joke that's being played on him. 

And if it is, he's going to strangle all of his friends because he's pretty sure most of them are in on it.

*

"I know you guys know who's sending the Secret Santa gifts," Niall blurts out over lunch. 

Louis and Liam stare at him with matching angelic expressions. 

"No, we don't," Louis insists. "We're just as confused as you are."

"I'm not asking you to tell me who it is, I just need to know that it's not a bloody joke," Niall sighs. "Because seriously, I'm starting to feel like a fucking punchline at this point."

"Ni," Liam smiles kindly, "I'm pretty sure someone wouldn't go to all this trouble just to take the piss."

"Bit too elaborate, innit? Definitely the kind of thing you would do for someone you fancy, not someone you just want to piss off," Louis adds.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Niall says. He's still not convinced that they're as clueless as they pretend to be, but he lets it go for now. "I've just never had a proper admirer before. It's driving me a bit mad," he laughs.

Louis quirks an eyebrow at him from across the table. "Our fans would surely beg to differ, mate."

"You know what I mean," Niall blushes, "no one's ever done anything like _this_ for me before."

"You deserve it," Louis says. "You deserve to be swept off your feet, and to be really and truly happy."

Niall appreciates the sentiment, but he also knows that there's only one person who makes him feel that way. There's only one person he's ever been in love with, and only one person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. He's tried dating other people, but none of them ever worked out because they weren't Harry.

Niall has tried to convince himself that he's okay with them being just platonic friends, but he's not sure he believes that anymore. Despite their relationship issues towards the end, no one has ever made Niall feel as happy, as loved, or as alive as Harry does.

"Thanks, Tommo," Niall grins. He's too choked up to say anything else, but he knows he doesn't have to; Louis always understands him.

*

"I'm really glad you're both here," Niall tells them later that evening as they're cuddled up on the couch watching _Elf_. He's sitting between them with his head pillowed on Liam's chest, and he's got Louis tucked under his left arm. They've had a few (see: probably too many) beers together, and everything is warm and perfect.

"I was feeling a bit bad about not seeing my family for Christmas, but I've got my brothers, haven't I?" Niall slurs while squeezing Louis' shoulder and leaning down to kiss the top of his head. He can't quite reach Liam's face without disturbing Louis, but he tilts his head up and puckers his lips to get his point across. 

"Always," Liam agrees. He leans down with the intent of letting Niall kiss his cheek, only he turns his face too far over and Niall ends up catching his mouth instead.

Liam gasps, but he kisses back briefly before they both pull away laughing. 

"Thanks, Payno. That was the first decent snog I've had in quite a while," Niall giggles as he sits back up.

"Anytime," Liam says as he holds his hand out for a fist bump.

Louis shakes his head at them. "Idiots," he teases and swats at them with one of Niall's many decorative pillows.

Niall shoves it away and reaches down to tweak Louis' nipple. "We're _your_ idiots, so you're stuck with us."

"Damn right," Louis agrees. "Hey, Payno," he adds as he reaches around to tug at Liam's sleeve. "Give us a cuddle."

"Yes, dear," Liam laughs as he slides his other arm around Louis and rubs his shoulder. 

Niall's heart is so full of love for them both that he feels like it might burst. He's had quite an amazing year and a successful tour, but this is what's been missing from his life for far too long. 

Now if only he could just work things out with Harry, then his life would be truly perfect.

~*~

**4 days until Christmas**

The next morning, Niall wakes up to the heavenly smell of bacon and two texts from Harry. 

It's already going to be a great day he thinks, which is immediately confirmed when he reads his messages. He's relieved to see that they were sent recently, so he won't be terribly late replying.

 _ **I had a lot of fun the other night**_ the first one reads, which makes Niall's heart skip a beat. **_Fancy having coffee with me later?_**

 _ **sounds great !**_ Niall replies along with a thumbs up emoji and a coffee emoji.

 ** _How about noon? I can pick you up if you like?_** Harry answers almost immediately. 

It's just a few minutes past eight, so at least Niall won't have to rush. 

**_perfect !_ **

Harry doesn't answer for nearly five minutes, but when he does, his reply makes Niall's breath hitch.

**_See you soon, pet xx_ **

The words echo in Niall's mind just as sweet and familiar as if Harry had whispered them in his ear after a late-night phone call. They haven't used the nickname on each other in years, so Niall has to wonder if Harry did it on purpose or if it's still just second nature. 

Niall's heart races at the thought because he's almost made the same mistake a few times recently. Thankfully, he's been so careful over the years that he managed to catch himself at the last second. His heart pounds wildly in his chest as he re-reads Harry's message. 

_See you soon, pet  
See you soon, pet  
See you soon, pet_

He can feel it almost tapping out a rhythm in his heartbeat. Niall takes a few deep breaths to steady himself before swinging his legs over the side of the bed. The scent of breakfast is still heavy in the air, so either Liam or Louis must be cooking. Niall hopes it's Liam because Louis can't generally manage much more than cereal. He's gotten better over the years, but Liam is an amazing cook. 

Just as Niall is about to head downstairs, his bedroom door is suddenly swinging open. 

"Wakey wakey!" Liam calls out as he pops his head into the room. Luckily the door wasn't shut all the way, because Liam's arms are loaded. He's got a big tray piled high with two plates of food, giant mugs of coffee, and an assortment of pastries. 

"Tommo is spending the day with Freddie, so I'm all yours," Liam smiles as he sets the tray down onto the bed. 

"Wow," Niall says, looking impressed. "This looks amazing, thank you!" He can't even remember the last time he had so many breakfast options. There's bacon, sausage, potatoes, and two types of eggs, even. Niall cooks for himself most mornings, but he usually just makes scrambled eggs and coffee. Sometimes pancakes, if Mully is home.

"You're welcome," Liam smiles shyly as he hops onto the bed and situates the tray between them. "I'm no chef, but I think I did all right."

"Are you kidding me?" Niall groans as he bites into a piece of crispy bacon. "This is _perfect_." 

*

Once they're finished eating, Liam pokes Niall gently in the chest. "So are you going to tell me what you were smiling about when I walked in?" 

"You're not going to believe me if I say it's nothing are you?" Niall guesses.

"Not even a little bit," Liam says as he leans back against Niall's pillows. 

Niall sighs dramatically, but it's nearly impossible to ever refuse Liam anything.

"Harry texted me. He wants to meet up later," Niall says and he can't stop the blush from spreading across his face. "We're just having coffee, though; don't get any ideas."

"Niall," Liam pokes Niall a bit harder this time, "will you please stop being so stubborn? You and Harry have been spending a lot more time together, texting more, making heart eyes at each other at every given opportunity - "

"Oh my _God_ ," Niall groans and covers his face with a pillow. 

"What? It's true!" Liam says as he pries the pillow away. "It's adorable, honestly. I'm glad you're taking things slowly, but you have to see that he's still crazy about you, yeah? I mean, the break up wasn't because he stopped caring about you."

"I know," Niall agrees and sits up again, "but why _now_? I mean, what's changed? We're still busy doing our own things, the band is still on break, and Harry is rarely ever in one place long enough to need a change of clothes, much less rebuild a relationship. I want to move forward, but I don't know how," Niall admits. I wouldn't even know where to start, honestly."

"How about you start with coffee and just see where it goes from there, yeah?" Liam suggests.

"Yeah, I suppose," Niall nods. "But what about you? Do you want to come with us? Harry offered to drive so he's - " 

"Thanks, but no thanks," Liam cuts him off with a laugh. "I'm pretty sure Harry wants you all to himself, and I have loads of stuff to do." 

"Like what?" Niall challenges. "I thought you were all mine today?"

"Figuratively speaking," Liam says, "but I'll be here when you get back. I've got a few more presents to pick up for Bear, so I'll head out to the shops in a bit."

"How is he doing?" Niall asks. "I can't believe he's almost two already."

"He's amazing," Liam smiles proudly. "We spent the past few weeks together before I left London, and I'll see him again when I get back. He's on holiday with Chez and her family right now, but we should both get back home around the same time, actually." 

"That's great," Niall grins. "Maybe next time I'm in London, he might like a visit from Uncle Niall?"

"We'd both love that," Liam smiles again as he leans over and kisses the side of Niall's head.

"Oh shit," Niall says suddenly as his thoughts drift back to Harry. "What am I going to wear?" 

"You realize you have an enormous closet full of clothes, right? I'm sure we can put something together," Liam laughs as he climbs out of the bed and pulls Niall along with him.

*

Fifteen minutes later, Niall has finally found the perfect outfit. With Liam's help, he's chosen a casual white T-shirt and a pair of his favorite jeans. 

"White looks really good on you," Liam observes. "It really brings out the tan you got from golfing last week."

"I think you mean the sunburn," Niall corrects, but Liam has a point. 

"Seriously, you look good, mate. Now you just need a jacket to tie it all together," Liam says as he eyes the back of the closet door. "Whoa," he whistles as he walks over to it and runs his hands over a gorgeous navy coat hanging there. "When did you get this?"

"Holy fucking shit," Niall whispers when he turns to see what Liam is talking about. "It can't be," he says as he steps closer and inspects it for himself.

But it _is_. It's the exact same Percival pea coat that Niall has been wanting since he first saw it. It had sold out each time before he had a chance to buy it though, including most recently when they posted about it on their Instagram page. Niall called them up immediately, not wanting to take any chances by fussing with online ordering, but it was long gone.

"How the _fuck_?" Niall says as he slides the coat on and adjusts the collar. 

"I'm assuming you didn't buy it?" Liam asks as he smooths out a few wrinkles on Niall's back. 

Niall just shakes his head because he's still too stunned to speak.

"Secret Santa?" Liam guesses.

"Must have been," Niall croaks out finally. All of the gifts have been wrapped so far, but this one seems to have been left out in plain sight presumably for the shock value. Whoever it's from has to know that Niall has been lusting after it for a long time.

"Give me something to work with here," Liam laughs. "Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I honestly can't tell."

"Good," Niall says as he drags Liam over to the mirror. "Like, fucking _amazing_. I've been wanting this coat for ages, but it's always been sold out!"

His excitement is so tangible that Liam can't stop smiling. "Well, it looks great on you even though it might be a bit too warm to wear today."

Liam has another point, considering it's only moderately chilly in L.A., and the coat is made of heavy wool. 

"I don't care; I'm wearing it anyway," Niall smiles at their reflection in the mirror and bounces around excitedly.

"Well, that settles it then, Liam says. "Now you just need to shower because you smell like bacon," he teases. 

*

Around eleven-thirty, Niall gets a text from Harry as he's helping Liam wrap presents. 

_**On my way! xx**_ it reads, which makes Niall feel like someone's squeezing all the air out of his lungs. 

"Oh fuck, Harry will be here soon," Niall realizes as he rushes to check himself out in the mirror again. He's been ready for a while, but he can't seem to stop fussing over tiny details. 

"Are you sure I look okay?"

"You look great," Liam assures him, "but you need to relax. You're just hanging out, not getting hitched in Vegas. Deep breaths, babe."

While Liam does have a point, it's still enough of a date-like activity to make Niall nervous.

"I know, but it's with _Harry_ and everything is moving so fast all of a sudden. I've spent more time with him just this week than in nearly three years, and I really hope I'm not reading this all wrong."

"Riddle me this," Liam says, looking smug. "He knows that Tommo and I are in town and he didn't invite _us_. He's been incredibly flirty, and he's been inviting you to hang out with him a lot more. Do you really think he would put this much effort into just your friendship? You two have already been on pretty good terms for a while now, so you need to look at the bigger picture here," Liam finishes with a satisfied expression.

Niall sighs heavily before answering. "I really wish it was that easy. I want to believe that things are different now, but what if they're not? You know Harry, he's sweet and funny and he knows how to make you feel like the most important person in the world…" Niall trails off because there's a familiar prickle at the back of his throat, and he really doesn't want to cry. 

"But?" Liam asks.

"What if this is too much for him? What if he wants to leave again?" Niall asks as he moves to sit next to Liam on the couch. "He did it once, and it shattered my heart. I know it wasn't intentional, but it doesn't make it hurt any less."

Liam nods sympathetically and waits for Niall to continue. 

Niall has told him bits and pieces before, but he's never actually shared the entire story with anyone. It was always too painful, but he's happy that he can finally talk about it without feeling like his heart might break all over again. 

"I planned this whole holiday for us since the band had just gone on break, but Harry wanted to jump right back into the studio. He also had a couple of other projects lined up, like movie auditions and that," Niall goes on. "It hurt, but I understood of course because it's the nature of the business; we learned that pretty early on. I just loved him so much, and wanted us to finally have a chance to spend some time together that wasn't on a tour bus, y'know?" Niall sniffs as his eyes start tearing up. 

"I definitely do," Liam says as he reaches out to pat Niall's thigh. 

"We were in London at the time, but Harry booked a flight back to L.A. for the following morning and he walked out of my life," Niall sniffs again, louder this time. "Just like that. I knew he would be gone when I woke up, but I still wasn't prepared for the shock of it. I wanted to ask him to stay, but I knew that would be selfish. So instead, I did something way worse," Niall laughs weakly.

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad," Liam says gently. 

"Unfortunately, it was," Niall mumbles, while slumping against Liam's side. "I told him I was in love with him, which was really shitty of me. I meant it of course, but we hadn't actually said that to each other yet. Not officially, anyway. I was just desperate, and really hoped it might change something, I guess. He didn't say it back, in case you're wondering. Not that I blame him. I don't know what I expected an impulsive love confession might accomplish, but I wasn't thinking all that clearly. God, I was such an idiot," Niall whines. 

Liam slides his arm around Niall and rubs his back. "No, you weren't. You were just in love, and that makes us do irrational things sometimes, that's all."

"Maybe," Niall agrees. "Harry obviously didn't feel the same way though, so I just ended up scaring him off," he continues as the tears finally start to fall.

"Nialler," Liam says as he shifts Niall around so they're facing each other again. "You know Harry loved you too, right? Just because he didn't say the words, that doesn't mean he didn't feel it. There was a lot going on, and he was probably just overwhelmed. It's hard work trying to balance our personal and professional lives. We've all had to make sacrifices and it fucking sucks sometimes." 

"Sometimes?" Niall has to laugh at that because they've had to sacrifice quite a lot over the years. 

"Okay, most of the time," Liam concedes. "But we've had some pretty incredible moments, haven't we? Together as a band, and out on our own. We've been pretty lucky, I think," Liam smiles as he brushes Niall's tears away. 

"Yeah, we certainly have," Niall says. "As painful as it was to go our separate ways, I think we were better off for it in the end though. Like maybe it had to happen that way? We both went off to make our albums, tour the world, and figure things out on our own for a bit. I still wish it had ended better between us, but those are the life experiences we draw from when we write. Pushing through the pain, and that. Makes for good music at least, yeah?"

"That it does, Liam agrees as he brushes away another tear. "Nothing can change the past, but you're right, some things are meant to happen as they happen. You and Harry found your way back to each other and it seems as though maybe he's been sorting through his feelings too. So why don't you just take things slow and feel out the situation? Spend more time together and just see where it goes?"

"Yeah, I suppose," Niall sniffles, while giving Liam a teary smile. He hasn't cried over Harry in a long time, but it feels good to let it all out now. Especially since Harry will be picking him up soon, and Niall definitely does not want to break down in front of him. 

"Do you feel any better?" Liam asks as he reaches for the box of tissues on the coffee table. He then pulls out a few and carefully dries Niall's face.

"Loads actually," Niall smiles and pulls Liam into another hug. "Don't know what I'd do without you, Payno."

"Good thing you don't have to find out," Liam winks as he reaches up to fix Niall's hair. It's gotten a bit tousled, but Liam smooths it out and makes sure it looks perfect.

 _"Christ,"_ Niall says a moment later when his phone buzzes with a new text. "Harry's here. I don't look like I've been crying, do I?" he asks as he types out a quick reply.

_**be right out !** _

Liam takes a moment to inspect Niall's face before answering. "No, you're good, babe. Don't forget your fancy coat," he says as picks it up and helps Niall into it.

"Thank you," Niall says as he grabs his keys and rushes out to meet Harry. He only gets a few feet away before he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket.

 _ **just dont forget to tell us this time if your having another sleepover**_ Liam texts.

Niall rolls his eyes at the message and pockets his phone without replying. 

* 

"Hey handsome," Harry greets him as Niall slides into Harry's car. "Wow," he pauses to admire Niall's coat, "is that new?"

"It was a gift," Niall says, but he can't help preening a bit. 

"It looks great on you," Harry smiles as he reaches out to run his hand over the fabric.

"Thank you," Niall blushes. "So where to? Starbucks? Coffee Bean?" Niall asks as Harry pulls out onto the street.

"Um," Harry hesitates, "I was thinking somewhere more private."

"Like?" Niall can feel the anticipation bubbling in his stomach because Harry has obviously planned something.

"Cora's," Harry says while keeping his eyes on the road.

"In Santa Monica?" Niall asks, because it's been a while since he's been out there, but especially with Harry. They used to go down to the pier all the time, and they'd stop at Cora's first. It's a quiet little café just around the corner and they have really amazing pancakes. Not that Niall is all that hungry yet, but he would never turn down pancakes. 

"I thought it might be nice. I haven't been out there in years," Harry says and the _not since the last time we went together_ goes unspoken. "Not properly, anyway. Usually just passing through."

"Me either," Niall admits. "Reckon I'm a bit overdressed though," he adds when he takes in what Harry is wearing. He's got on an old Rolling Stones T-shirt, a soft pair of navy track pants, and his favorite trainers. Very beachy, despite the cooler temperature. It's bright and sunny though, which is Niall's favorite kind of weather.

"You're perfect," Harry says as he reaches over and squeezes Niall's knee. 

"Thanks," Niall grins as his mind is suddenly flooded with happy memories of their trips to Santa Monica.

They could never kiss or hold hands since it's so public, but there was always something romantic about it. Especially when they visited their favorite spot, which is just a secluded corner of the pier that overlooks the water. Harry would usually complain about being cold from the ocean breeze, but Niall always found subtle ways to help warm him up.

If history happens to repeat itself, Niall surely won't mind. 

*

"I'm stuffed," Niall groans as he pushes his plate away. So much for not being that hungry, since he ended up eating an entire stack of banana pancakes. 

"Me too," Harry says as he reaches for the check that's been left for them. 

Niall would protest, but he knows it's useless. Harry is pretty stubborn sometimes, but to be fair, so is Niall. He'll let Harry have this one though, and then he'll return the favor when Harry least expects it. 

"Should we go walk it off at the pier for a bit?" Harry asks.

Niall can't help smiling because sometimes Harry is too predictable. Although, it was probably part of his plan all along, and likely the reason he picked Cora's in the first place.

"Yeah, sounds good," Niall nods. It's still pretty early, so there probably won't be many people at the pier yet. 

It's close enough for them to walk, but they don't want to give fans extra opportunities to spot them. Instead, Harry pulls into a private parking structure about a block away. It's typically reserved for residents only, but the lot attendants will let anyone park there for the right price.

"C'mon," Harry says as he reaches for Niall's hand. The street is empty, thankfully, so there's not a single soul to recognize them as they stroll along the path leading up to the pier.

Niall is shocked that Harry is being so bold, but he's more than happy to hold Harry's hand as they walk. There's a volleyball game in progress on the beach, but none of the kids seem to notice them. 

Niall starts to pull away just in case, but Harry holds on tighter. "Don't let me go," he smiles while threading their fingers together. 

It's such a painfully familiar gesture, and it tugs sharply at Niall's heart. Especially because it's broad daylight, and he's holding hands with the man he loves for the entire world to see. 

*

"Funnel cakes?" Niall asks. "We literally just ate like twenty minutes ago," he tells Harry, who's dragging him towards one of the stands. 

Harry gives him a wounded look as he pulls out his wallet. "Don't be ridiculous, Niall. You don't need to be hungry to eat funnel cakes. They're a required pier experience."

"Oh right, what was I thinking?" Niall laughs.

"One please," Harry orders when they make it up to the window. "And can we please get it with extra powdered sugar?"

"Of course," the girl blushes as she sprinkles on a generous layer. Niall is pretty sure she recognizes them, but she doesn't mention it. 

"Thank you so much," Harry smiles while he stuffs a couple of twenties into her tip jar. 

"Let's go grab a table so we can eat without making a complete mess," Niall says while steering Harry over to some nearby picnic benches. 

_"We?"_ Harry asks as he guards the cake like a hoarded treasure. "I thought you weren't hungry?" he teases.

Niall's mouth hangs open in shock. "I said we just ate like twenty minutes ago, not that I wasn't hungry. Which I'm not, for the record, but that does look really good."

"Lucky for you I'm nice enough to share," Harry says as he tears off a corner. He's about to pop it into his mouth, but at the last second he holds it up to Niall's instead. 

There are quite a few people around, but Niall shrugs it off as he opens his mouth and lets Harry feed him. He also doesn't miss the way Harry's fingers brush against his lips for the briefest second before he pulls his hand away. 

"That's _really_ good," Niall moans as he licks the powdered sugar from his lips. He notices that Harry tracks the movement, which makes his stomach flutter. 

"It's orgasmic," Harry agrees after shoveling several bites into his mouth.

"I wouldn't go that far," Niall snorts as he reaches out to grab another piece.

"Close enough," Harry says as he dusts the sugar from his hands.

Niall doesn't miss a beat. "Well you obviously haven't had a _really_ good shag lately if you think fried dough qualifies as a substitute."

Harry looks scandalized for a moment before he bursts out laughing. "Touché," he says and taps his piece of cake against Niall's before he shoves it into his mouth.

*

The rest of their afternoon is spent the same way - just laughing, eating, and being silly together. It's easy and fun in a way that it hasn't been in years, and Niall is thoroughly enjoying himself. They end up hanging out at their favorite spot for a while too, and like always, Harry gets cold from the wind whipping around them. 

"Here, take my coat," Niall offers as he starts to remove it. Harry reaches out and stops him though.

"Thank you, but you keep it on," Harry says as he slides closer to Niall.

"Harry, you're shaking; take the coat. I'm pretty warm anyway, so - " Niall is cut off by Harry snuggling against his side and burrowing under the coat. 

"It's much better this way," Harry sighs happily and presses his face against Niall's neck.

And well, Niall certainly can't argue with that.

"You realize people can see us, right?" Niall whispers slightly concerned. Not that he minds, not anymore. Well, technically not ever, but they already spend the majority of their lives living in the public eye. The last thing either of them needs is to be splashed across all the social media platforms again.

It turns out that they were spotted at the bar the other night, but they were there as a group so it was a lot less intimate than it is out here on the pier. 

It sparked more band reunion rumors of course, but they're used to that by now.

"Don't care," Harry shrugs. "Let them see. Let them tweet about it, or use the snap gram or whatever it's called."

"Snap _chat_ , Grandpa," Niall laughs. "What's up with you, though? You're not usually so reckless when it comes to paps; you know they're out there somewhere."

"Niall," Harry starts as he pulls back a bit. He then takes Niall's hands into his own and turns to face him.

Niall's heart is hammering against his chest because Harry's so close. Close enough to touch, or to kiss if he wants. He can probably even count Harry's eyelashes.

"For so long, I've kept a part of myself hidden away, but I don't want to do that anymore. Especially not with you. I lost you once because I was an idiot, and I'll be damned if I let that happen again. I'm tired of hiding, it's exhausting. I'm not suggesting we have a snog right here on the boardwalk, but I'm not going to hide what you are to me, Niall. I missed spending time with you, and I'm not about to let anyone ruin that."

Niall remains silent, but only because he can tell there's more, and he doesn't want to interrupt.

"I know it's not like that between us now," Harry continues, "that we're not - "

"Together," Niall finishes because Harry's lower lip has started to tremble. Even though he's desperate to hear the rest, Niall absolutely can't allow Harry to cry. Not if he can help it.

"Yeah," Harry nods, "but I just wanted… I _needed_ to tell you how sorry I am. I know I hurt you, and I hate myself for it. Not a single day goes by that I don't think about how things ended with us, and I wish I had handled everything differently."

"You still would have left," Niall gently reminds him, but he curls his fingers around Harry's and slides forward until their knees are touching. 

"Probably," Harry admits, "but there were so many better ways to do it. My biggest regret though," Harry pauses to squeeze Niall's hands, "is that I never told you that I loved you. I mean, that I was in love with you too. I tried to always make sure you knew, but I should have used my words, and I'm sorry."

Niall suddenly feels like the ground has dropped out from under him. He should be relieved, he realizes, or at least be grateful for some closure, but all he can focus on right now is the way the word _loved_ rolls off Harry's tongue.

Past tense. 

Not that Niall actually expected Harry to still have feelings for him, but he can't help the wave of disappointment that washes over him. 

"So is that what this is all about then?" Niall asks. He tries not to sound too upset, but he can't help it. He feels like an idiot for thinking that Harry might still want to be with him.

"The movie night, and Cora's, and being out here?" Niall clarifies when Harry looks at him blankly. "You just wanted to apologize?"

"Well, not _just_ to apologize," Harry frowns. "I want to spend more time with you, Ni. I've missed you so much these past few years. I've especially missed my best friend," he adds as he reaches out to rub Niall's cheek. 

Niall's heart breaks a little at that. "Harry," he says softly and reaches up to cover Harry's hand with his own. "I've missed you too. Do you know how many times I've wanted to text you about something random, or call to see what you're up to, or just _anything_ really?" he drops his hand down to Harry's knee. "Especially on tour. Even though I was with the lads, it was so fucking lonely, and I missed you so much."

"I know exactly what you mean," Harry tells him. "I felt it too. It was weird to be on tour at the same time, but not with each other. There were so many nights that I wished I was in bed with you so I could fall asleep to the sound of your breathing. It's always been my favorite white noise," Harry smiles shyly.

"Really?" Niall asks because Harry's never told him that.

"Really. You look so peaceful when you sleep, and it always relaxed me. I just miss the little things, you know?"

"Was that a bad pun?" Niall jokes to alleviate some of the growing tension.

Harry shakes his head and laughs. "No, but I suppose it could have been. My point is," he continues, "that I just really fucking miss you, and I want us to be okay. I want to stop feeling like I need to make up excuses to see you when we used to just show up at each other's houses whenever we felt like it. I _want_..." he trails off as he drags the pad of his thumb over Niall's bottom lip.

Niall gasps at the contact and is flooded with instant relief. Maybe they are on the same page after all. 

"Yeah," he agrees and gives Harry an adoring smile.

Harry starts to say something else, but then a group of young boys with dripping ice cream cones come over to join them on the bench. That abruptly ends their conversation for now, so Niall links his arm with Harry's and pulls him closer. The wind is still pretty icy, so he slips half of his coat off so that he can help keep Harry warm.

For the next few minutes, they just hold each other as they watch the waves breaking on the shore below. It's incredibly peaceful, minus the occasional disruption coming from the boys next to them.

"I've _really_ missed this," Harry whispers after a few minutes of silence. 

"Me too," Niall says as he reaches down to hold Harry's hand again. The boys are too busy racing to see who can finish their ice cream to pay Harry or Niall any attention. Not that Niall would even care if they were. 

It's almost surreal because they haven't been approached - or at least recognized - by a single soul except for maybe the girl at the funnel cake stand. Niall counts it as a win, though, because Santa Monica hasn't lost its magic. For such a popular spot, they've usually been able to hang out relatively undetected. It's probably because most people aren't looking for them out there, plus the fact that they choose random times to visit like when it's a lot less crowded.

"So how about it?" Harry asks a few minutes later.

"How about...what?" Niall replies, feeling a bit embarrassed. Had he zoned out and missed something important?

Harry gives him an incredulous look. "You _know_ what I want, Niall."

Niall swallows nervously before answering. "Care to elaborate?"

Harry leers at him for a moment before pointing to the Ferris wheel behind them. It's always been a tradition that they ride it at least once when they visit. It's not exactly Niall's favorite, but he can't ever say no when he knows how much Harry loves it. 

"It's going to be cold up there," Niall warns since Harry hadn't even thought to bring a jacket. 

Harry pulls Niall to his feet and leans in to whisper against Niall's ear. 

"You'll keep me warm."

*

"Okay, this was definitely not one of my finest ideas," Harry says once they're on the Ferris wheel. The wind is harsh and biting from this high up, and Harry is visibly shaking. 

"Now will you wear my coat?" Niall asks as he slides it off. He might get a bit chilled but it will be worth it to make sure Harry is comfortable.

"N-no," Harry shakes his head, "because then you'll be c-cold." 

Niall ignores him and drapes his coat around Harry's shoulders. When Harry doesn't protest, Niall helps to slide his arms into it and buttons it up. "There," he smiles, "snug as a bug."

"Thank you," Harry sniffs, because the altitude and wind chill have caused his nose to start running. Luckily, Niall has several napkins stashed in one of his coat pockets so he pulls one out and hands it to Harry.

"Always so prepared, aren't you?" Harry asks while dabbing at his nose. "Not like me, who's such a mess that I can't even dress properly for the weather."

Niall nudges him gently. "That's what I'm here for, remember?"

"You're doing a great job," Harry praises. "My hands are a bit cold, but I feel a lot warmer overall."

"Well we wouldn't want that," Niall says, trying to sound casual. "Maybe I should hold them for you." 

"No, we definitely wouldn't," Harry agrees as Niall takes Harry's hands into his own and rubs them briskly to generate heat. 

"Are we okay?" Harry asks moments later, on their second turn around the Ferris wheel.

"What do you mean, love?" The nickname slips out before Niall can correct himself, but the delighted look on Harry's face totally makes up for the mistake.

Harry looks down at their joined hands. "I don't know, honestly," he laughs. "I'm probably thinking too much."

"Hey," Niall nudges him again, "what's going on inside that pretty head of yours?"

"This," Harry gestures between them. "Being out here with you again."

"Feels like old times, doesn't it?" Niall says.

"Yeah, it really does," Harry smiles. "I was worried that it might be awkward, but it's not, is it?"

Niall leans forward and kisses Harry's cheek. "Not at all."

"So we're okay?" Harry asks, still a bit uncertain. 

"I reckon we're a lot better than that," Niall laughs and tickles the underside of Harry's chin. 

Harry gives him a relieved smile before laying his head on Niall's shoulder. "Promise?" 

Niall pulls Harry closer and holds him tightly. 

"Promise."

*

"You didn't have to walk me to the door," Niall tells Harry when they get back from their drive.

"Nonsense," Harry says as he clutches Niall's hand, "what kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn't?"

"The kind who's smart enough to stay in his warm car since the temperature has dropped at least fifteen degrees?" Niall teases. "But thank you," he adds as he steps closer. "I had an amazing time."

"Me too," Harry says while looping his arms around Niall's neck. He glances up momentarily and then his eyes drop to Niall's mouth. 

"I haven't been out there in ages because there were just too many memories that I wasn't ready to deal with," Niall admits.

"Yeah, I get that," Harry nods. "I didn't think I was avoiding it, but in hindsight, maybe I was."

"Same," Niall agrees. "Shawn invited me surfing out there one day, but I just made up an excuse not to go."

" _You_ surf?" Harry asks, clearly shocked. Or maybe impressed, Niall can't tell which. 

"Bloody hell, you think my dodgy knees could handle a surfboard? God, no, I just paddle out while Shawny does the actual surfing. Just keeping him company, really." 

"Shawny," Harry says, voice clipped. It's obviously a statement, not a question.

"Mendes?" Niall offers. "Canadian lad, curly hair, amazing singer?"

Harry pulls back and folds his arms across his chest. "Didn't realize you two were so close."

Niall is a bit surprised at Harry's reaction, but he can't help leaning in and kissing Harry's cold nose. "You're extra cute when you're jealous," he winks and unfolds Harry's arms so he can snuggle against him again.

Harry scowls, but he doesn't pull away. "It was just an observation, Niall."

"I'm just teasing you; Shawn and I met a few years ago at the AMA's, and we've gotten to be really good friends. Strictly speaking, I mean," Niall clarifies because he feels like it's important to make that distinction.

Harry gives him a shy smile before he hides his face against Niall's neck. "Sorry, I know it's none of my business, but I was just curious, that's all."

"Hey," Niall tilts Harry's face up and holds it gently. "You know you can always ask me anything you want; I don't keep secrets from you."

"I know," Harry nods. "Sorry if I made things weird."

"You didn't," Niall assures him. "Shawny and I are just mates, that's it." 

That seems to appease Harry well enough, and Niall can feel it when he stops holding himself so tensely. Niall wants to pry a little and ask why it matters so much, but he doesn't want to make Harry uncomfortable. Especially not when they've had such a perfect day together.

Harry leans forward and kisses Niall's forehead. "Okay," he smiles.

"Okay," Niall echoes as he tugs sharply at the lapels of Harry's coat. Or his own coat, rather. Harry has been wearing it since the Ferris wheel, and Niall loves that it's going to smell like him when he gets it back. 

"By the way, this looks really good on you, " Niall says as he pulls the coat open just long enough to press himself against the solid warmth of Harry's chest. He doesn't want to talk about Shawn anymore, he just wants to enjoy this moment with Harry. 

"Thank you," Harry beams as he winds his arms around Niall. 

They stand like that for a moment or two, just swaying together when Harry speaks again. 

"Ni?"

"Yeah?" 

Harry doesn't answer him, but Niall can feel him tensing up again. "Haz?" he prods as he shifts back a bit so he can meet Harry's eyes. 

"Why is there mistletoe out here?" Harry says finally. "Who were you hoping to snog, huh?" he asks while playfully tapping Niall's nose. 

"What do you mean?" Niall has no idea what Harry is talking about, but his heart suddenly starts pounding against his chest.

Harry points up. "We're standing under it."

Sure enough, Niall looks up to see a healthy sprig of mistletoe hanging from the roof of his front porch. It's not low enough to notice at first, but now Niall wonders how long it's been up there.

"Huh," Niall says, clearly surprised. "No idea."

"So you didn't put it there?" Harry asks. "Since it's your house, I just assumed…"

Niall shakes his head. "No, I definitely didn't. It was probably Tommo or Payno." Or both, Niall thinks because he wouldn't put it past them.

"We're not going to ignore it, are we?" Harry asks, looking hopeful. "I mean, it _is_ tradition after all."

"That's true," Niall agrees. "Wouldn't that be bad luck? Pretty sure I heard that somewhere."

"The worst. Seven years of bad kissing luck," Harry says with the straightest face he can manage.

"I hope you're not speaking from experience," Niall giggles. 

"Of course not," Harry gasps, "I would never test fate like that, but I've heard terrible stories."

"That sounds serious," Niall says as he presses even closer. 

"Seven _years_ , Niall," Harry reminds him while tilting Niall's face up and cradling it between his palms. "That's a lot of bad kisses."

"We better not risk it then," Niall grins before dragging Harry forward and kissing him softly. 

That should be the end of it, just a quick kiss under the mistletoe for the sake of tradition. Niall logically knows that, but he can't stop himself because he's wanted this for too long. So instead, he hums happily against Harry's mouth and keeps kissing him slowly.

They stand like that for several minutes, trading kisses and breathing each other in until Niall finally pulls back. "I missed you so much," he says while reaching up to trace Harry's lips with his thumb. 

"I missed you too," Harry murmurs as he rubs Niall's cheeks gently. "So fucking much." He eventually drops his hands down to Niall's waist and Niall feels an icy jolt when Harry's fingers slip under his shirt.

"Jesus, your hands are _freezing_ ," Niall gasps. 

"Sorry," Harry frowns, "I didn't realize it was going to be so cold tonight. This is L.A., not Antarctica," he laughs.

"Wanna come inside and warm up?" Niall finds himself asking, which is a shock even to his own ears. It's too late to take it back though, not that he wants to. 

Harry pulls back, eyes sparkling as he reaches for Niall's hand. 

"Lead the way."

*

They don't make it further than the front entrance, however, because they're immediately met with twin sets of shocked expressions as Liam and Louis exit the kitchen. They're carrying boxes of pizza, and they stop dead in their tracks when they see Niall and Harry.

It wouldn't look so incriminating if they weren't all over each other, but there's nothing even remotely platonic about this moment. Not with the way Harry is kissing up Niall's neck while fumbling with his zipper. That leaves no question whatsoever about Harry's intentions, and Niall is mortified. 

Not that he actually cares about being caught, it's just that Niall knows he's going to be grilled about it later. If he had been thinking clearly, he would have remembered that Liam and Louis were home. However, all logical thoughts disappeared from his mind the minute Harry started kissing him again. 

"Hi," Niall greets them dumbly, while Harry tries to discreetly move his hands. 

"Goooooood evening, gentlemen," Louis smirks. "Nice to see you again so soon, Harold."

"Thanks, Lou," Harry smiles as he runs a hand through his hair to try and make it look more presentable. 

Liam stays silent, but his amused expression speaks volumes. Niall can tell that they're fighting back about ten different questions, but he's grateful for their silence. For now, at least. They can interrogate him later, but he really hopes they won't do it in front of Harry.

"I should probably get going," Harry tells Niall, but he makes sure it's loud enough for everyone to hear him. "It's getting late, and I've got a meeting in the morning," he continues as he spins Niall around and hugs him tightly. 

"Sorry about this," Niall says, but Harry shushes him with a dismissive wave and a kiss on the cheek. 

"Thank you for a lovely day," Harry whispers and hugs Niall again. "I'll see myself out," he adds, punctuated by a kiss on Niall's shoulder this time before turning to nod at Liam and Louis.

It's painfully awkward, but they've definitely dealt with worse moments.

 _"Raincheck,"_ Harry tells Niall just before he bolts out of the house.

"Soooooo," Louis prods after Niall locks the front door and follows them to the living room. They all pile onto one of the couches with the pizzas spread out in front of them.

"Out with it then," Niall sighs because he might as well get it over with.

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," Liam says as he hands Niall a slice of pizza, "but I'm assuming it went well?"

"The hell he doesn't," Louis objects. "I want details!" 

"It was perfect," Niall sighs again, happily this time. "Pretty sure I was dreaming," he mumbles between bites of pizza.

"None of what we just saw looked like a dream to me," Liam smiles. "Want to tell us about it?" he asks, leaning into Niall's space and nudging him gently. 

"Start at the beginning please, because apparently, I missed some things while I was out," Louis laughs as he stretches out on Niall's other side. 

"You two are impossible," Niall says fondly as he kicks his shoes off and settles between them.

He ends up telling them everything, and it makes him feel a lot more hopeful about where things are leading with Harry. 

*

When he heads up to his room for the night, Niall realizes that Harry had texted him over an hour ago. He probably sent it right after he left, and Niall feels bad about responding so late.

 _ **I had a wonderful time today, thank you xx**_ the text reads. Harry has never been one to use emojis all that often, but he included two kissy faces, a rose, and a sparkly pink heart with his message.

 ** _I did too . thank you for inviting me_** Niall types out. Before he loses his nerve, he quickly snaps a live photo of himself blowing a kiss. It turns out way better than he expected it to, so he sends it before he has a chance to second guess himself.

Harry reads both messages immediately, and Niall's stomach bubbles with excitement when he notices that Harry is already writing back. 

_**Do you think our good kissing luck has been preserved?**_ Harry asks, and then in response to Niall's picture, he sends a string of heart-eye emojis which make Niall blush.

 _ **pretty sure were safe**_ Niall answers immediately, and includes two kissy emojis and a thumbs up for good measure. 

In reply, Harry sends a picture of himself lying in bed with the covers pulled up to his chin. He's smiling lazily at the camera, and Niall can feel himself blushing even harder because he knows that Harry sleeps naked. 

_**Sweet dreams xx**_ Harry sends next, and includes a series of moon emojis. 

_**thank you . you too pet**_ Niall replies, along with three heart emojis before he moves on to his twitter feed. He does a cursory check of his mentions, but they're always overwhelming and not something he can focus on reading through for too long. 

Before he can overthink it, he quickly types out a new tweet and hits send.

_If the whole world was watching I'd still dance with you_

Harry favorites it immediately.

~*~

**3 Days until Christmas**

The following morning, Niall wakes up with a smile on his face and the phantom sensation of Harry's lips against his. 

Last night was _real_ , it wasn't a dream. He and Harry not only kissed, but he's pretty sure they would have done a whole lot more than that if Liam and Louis hadn't been home. Not that Niall needs their permission obviously, but being caught just seemed to take them out of the moment. It's just as well though, Niall thinks. As much as he would have loved to be with Harry again, they've still got issues to work through, and sleeping together would have surely complicated things. 

So it's definitely for the best that they didn't, especially because Liam and Louis have already been over-analyzing everything like a couple of bored housewives in desperate need of hot neighborhood gossip. Niall knows they only mean well, though. It's just a lot to process in such a short amount of time, but Niall doesn't want to rush into anything. 

He and Harry will have plenty of chances to talk over their break since neither of them has any work lined up at the moment. Or he's fairly certain that Harry doesn't because this is the longest that Harry's stayed in the same city for a while. He's typically itching to leave within days of arriving in most places, but he seems pretty happy in L.A. right now. 

Niall finds himself wanting to text Harry, but he doesn't want to appear overly eager either. On the other hand, Harry has been the first one to initiate most of their conversations lately. It's not fair that he should do all the work, and if Niall is thinking of him, shouldn't he let Harry know?

Niall feels like he's fighting an uphill battle. While he loves all of the progress they've been making, he keeps reminding himself that they broke up for several reasons. Although suddenly, none of them seem as critical as they did three years ago. Especially not with the way Harry has been acting lately. He used to be a lot more discreet when it came to their relationship (even though their closest friends already knew about them anyway) but now it's like he's almost begging to be caught. 

He wasn't the least bit concerned as they walked around Santa Monica looking like a proper couple, and then they kissed right on Niall's front porch where literally anyone could have seen them. His house is somewhat shielded from the street, but paps always find a way to get the pictures they want. 

Maybe Harry really _does_ want to get back together. If that's what all of this means, since they haven't actually discussed it yet. They kissed, yes, and Niall is pretty sure it would have gone a lot further, but it could have also just been a heat of the moment kind of thing.

After debating it for a few minutes, Niall finally decides to text Harry. 

_**good morning !**_ Niall sends, along with a sleepy selfie. He's shirtless, but it's mostly just his shoulders that are visible in the picture. His hair is a fluffy mess, but he hopes that Harry will like it anyway. Harry used to ask him for selfies like this all the time when they were still dating. Whenever they weren't in the same city, he usually either started or ended a conversation by asking Niall for a picture. He preferred the ones of Niall in bed because he liked to tell Niall about all of the dirty things he wanted to do with him when they were together again. 

_"I love knowing that no one else gets to see you like this,"_ Harry would say. It still makes Niall's pulse race even thinking about it now. 

About five minutes later, Harry's reply pops up on Niall's phone. 

_**Good morning, beautiful! ;) Sorry, I just got out of class.**_

He also includes a sweaty (but gorgeous) post-yoga selfie. He's shirtless too, and his eyes are glazed and unfocused which sets all of Niall's nerve endings on fire.

 ** _Feeling the burn!_** Harry sends immediately after, and he's definitely not the only one.

Niall's whole body heats up at the thought because he knows how worked up Harry gets after exercising. It's from the rush of endorphins, and Niall's mind immediately flashes to all of the times that Harry would literally jump him the minute he got back from working out. It became a familiar routine, and it was something Niall really missed whenever they were apart. Not that they didn't have lots of phone sex too, which was always amazing. 

_"I just fingered myself in the shower so I'm nice and ready for you, baby,"_ Harry would pant into Niall's ear, bypassing his usual greeting. _"Need you here, Ni. I'll be so good for you, love,"_ Harry would beg. 

"Fuck," Niall says out loud because Harry is the master of dirty talk, and Niall has so many scorching memories of their conversations. 

Before Niall can answer Harry's first text, his phone vibrates with another one: 

**_Haven't been to Bikram in ages...forgot how brutal it is!_** it reads, regarding Harry's odd obsession with hot yoga, and it's immediately followed by another selfie. This time, he's smiling happily into the camera, dimples on full display.

Niall is dying.

 ** _no pain no gain !_** Niall quickly replies. He wishes he had thought of something better, but he's only got a few functioning brain cells left. All he can do is stare at Harry's pictures and imagine Harry being all over him when he got home from class like he's done so many times before. Niall had even started stashing lube in the living room because they were both usually too impatient to make it upstairs. 

Sometimes they liked to slow things down though, and draw it out more. Niall always knew how overly sensitive Harry's body would be, and he would take his time kissing, licking, and biting every single inch. He especially liked to take Harry apart by fingering him until he was an incoherent, babbling mess. Harry is always beautiful, but one of Niall's most favorite moments is how gorgeous he always looks when he's about to come. 

The way Niall's name spills from his lips like a prayer, the way Harry's whole body tenses up just before he melts under Niall's touch and pulls him down for a dizzying kiss.

An involuntary whimper escapes him as Niall's thoughts finally urge him into action. He tosses his phone aside and shoves his underwear and pajama bottoms down his thighs. He usually prefers to sleep naked, (a habit he picked up from Harry) but while he's got houseguests, Niall would rather be somewhat presentable at all times. He's already hard, and it's such a welcome relief when he finally gets a hand on himself. He reaches down to palm his cock as he imagines it's Harry's hand instead. Harry would always start out with a light touch, and work him faster and faster until Niall was practically sobbing for Harry to let him come. 

_"Harry,"_ Niall whines out loud because it's been too long since he's gotten himself off, and Harry is always the star of his fantasies. His cock is leaking steadily over his fingers, so he tightens his grip for added friction. There's already a slow burn blooming in his stomach, and every stroke has him shaking with the need for release. 

He suddenly feels his phone buzzing beside him, but thankfully he can read the message on his lock screen without having to actually open it. 

**_You know I love the pain_** Harry sends, along with two winking emojis, and Niall could cry from how turned on he is. He just wants to come already, but he can't seem to let go because he's wound up too tightly. He's not about to answer Harry right now, so he tries to clear his mind and focus solely on his pleasure. If Harry were there, he would be kissing up Niall's neck as he stroked him firmly. He would then increase his speed and pressure while uttering filthy words of encouragement to bring Niall closer to the edge. 

_"Come for me, babe. Let me hear those pretty sounds so I know how good I make you feel,"_ Harry would pant against Niall's mouth until Niall came, hot and wet between them.

Without warning, Niall's orgasm rolls through him, sharp and sudden. He comes all over his fist and stomach, and it's so intense that it leaves him gasping for air. He gives his cock a few more lazy pulls before collapsing back against his pillows.

"Jesus Christ," he whispers to his empty room. He really needs to clean up, but he's feeling way too good to move. His phone goes off again, but it's not a new message this time. It's just a persistent reminder that he hasn't actually opened the last one yet. He quickly reaches for some tissues to clean up with before he finally answers Harry's text.

 _ **cheeky**_ Niall types as he sends his first message. He makes sure to add an emoji with the tongue sticking out so Harry knows he's only teasing.

 ** _What?_** Harry replies back, along with a picture of him looking pouty and confused.

 ** _proper little angel arent ya ?_** Niall smirks down at his phone as he texts back.

 ** _Niall James Horan, what are you implying?_** Harry asks, and that sets Niall off again. He laughs to himself as he reads the message, because Harry is such a little shit sometimes. "Fuck it," he says as he types out his next reply:

 _ **really ? ya just had a workout and wanna send me pics like that ?**_ Then immediately after: _**like you dont know what they do to me ?**_

He shouldn't have. He knows he shouldn't have, but it's all Harry's fault for working him up like this.

Harry's next message is delayed by a few minutes, which is fine by Niall since he needs time to clear his head. They went from zero to flirty in only a matter of days, but he really hopes his better judgment isn't going to screw him over this time. 

Niall is just about to get out of bed and get cleaned up when his phone buzzes again.

 ** _Tell me, Niall. What do they do to you?_**

Oh…he's really asking for it. 

Niall's resolve has basically shattered at this point, so he takes a deep breath and starts snapping some more selfies. He's trying to create the perfect combination of sexy and suggestive without being completely obscene. It's not easy, but he finally manages to angle the camera just right to get the shot he wants. 

He's lying back against his pillows, cheeks tinged pink, and the soft morning glow in his bedroom perfectly captures the light sheen of sweat covering his upper body. To round out the photo, there are also a couple of very conspicuous drops of wetness clinging to the fuzz on his stomach. 

Before he has time to talk himself out of it, Niall sends the picture and bravely adds: 

_**you know exactly what** _

**_Sweet Jesus, Niall..._** Harry replies immediately. Then right after: _**Maybe I can catch the live show next time? ;)**_

Niall gasps out loud after reading the message because he can't believe this is actually happening. He almost regrets sending the picture now, because what the fuck is he doing? It's like he's got two devils perched on each of his shoulders for guidance, which would probably look just like Liam and Louis. Where is his guardian angel to talk him out of making reckless decisions?

Logically, Niall knows he's a grown man, and therefore he has to take full responsibility for his actions. He had a post-orgasmic moment of weakness, but now the embarrassment is hitting him full force.

On the bright side, Harry obviously liked the picture but Niall is not supposed to be giving in this quickly. Last night he probably would have, but he's secretly glad they got interrupted. Niall can't ever think clearly when Harry is around, and his head was already full of static from their kiss. 

Granted, it had been a damn good kiss despite the pretense of mistletoe. 

Truth be told, Niall had spent most of the car ride back from Santa Monica wondering if he might get a kiss goodnight. The entire afternoon felt like a date, and if Niall is honest with himself, he might have initiated the kiss anyway even without the mistletoe. He'll never know now, though. Not since one of his little elves decided to help things along by hanging it on the porch. 

He really needs to have a talk with Harry, but he'll probably wait until after Christmas. The next few days are going to be hectic, and especially with Louis' birthday being on the twenty-fourth.

He gets so caught up in his thoughts that another text comes in before he's even replied to the previous one. 

_**Sorry, was that too much?**_ Harry asks.

 _ **of course not.. Sorry .. I was just cleaning up**_ Niall lies, because this isn't the time to hash out all of his concerns.

 _ **I can think of a few ways to help with that ;)**_ Harry offers, and oh… fuck Niall's life. 

He started this, he realizes, but now things are snowballing at an alarming rate, and Niall would really like to talk about what this all means to Harry. He is definitely not looking for a fling with an ex, or a friends-with-benefits situation because he's got two hands and plenty of other friends. 

_**I think we need to talk**_ Niall answers finally. He's about to send another message to clarify what he means when his phone starts ringing in his hand. 

"Good talk, or bad talk?" Harry asks when the call connects. He sounds nervous, and Niall feels guilty for making him worry.

"Good talk I hope," Niall says. "I just think we still have a lot to sort out, don't you? Everything is happening so fast, H."

"Yeah," Harry says, sounding relieved, "you're just so distracting though; I get a bit carried away sometimes," he admits with a laugh. 

"Oh sure, blame this on me," Niall teases. "You're pretty distracting yourself, Styles."

"Am I?" Harry says, clearly amused. 

"You're ridiculous." Niall deadpans. He can easily picture the sexy grin on Harry's face and he wishes he could kiss it right off. 

"Your face is ridiculous," Harry fires back, but Niall can hear the amusement in his voice.

Niall rolls his eyes even though Harry can't see him. "You love my face."

"So very much," Harry agrees. "I wish I could kiss you right now."

In all of his twenty-five years of life, Niall has never met anyone that makes him feel like Harry does. In one simple phone call, he can go from anxious to aroused to happy and back to anxious again (in the best possible way) because Harry makes him feel such a wonderful range of emotions. There has never been a single dull moment between them, and Niall loves knowing that every minute spent with Harry is always full of surprises.

"I wish too, pet. I wish a lot of things, honestly. I hope I didn't freak you out, but I think we need to have a proper talk before things go any further between us," Niall says in a nervous rush.

"You didn't," Harry assures him, "but you're right, I think we do. Especially because part of our problem used to be that we didn't talk about things as much as we should have."

Harry has a definite point there. "To be continued then?" Niall asks, sounding hopeful. 

"Absolutely, my love," Harry agrees which makes Niall's heart skip a beat.

The call ends with promises to see each other soon, and Niall is almost delirious with how happy he feels. He falls back against his pillows, smiling to himself because life is just so good right now. Minus the fact that he's a bit sweaty and sticky but that's nothing a hot shower can't fix.

As he scrubs himself clean, he can't stop thinking about Harry.

Shower sex is one of Harry's favorite things, and Niall can't help getting lost in another fantasy. This time, he imagines Harry holding him up against the tiles and fucking him slowly, or maybe Harry would be down on his knees, sucking him off. Both have happened on multiple occasions, and Niall comes for the second time in less than an hour with Harry's name on his lips.

Once he's dry again, he crawls back into bed for a bit longer because it's still pretty early. He doesn't have any major plans for the day, and his mountain of fluffy pillows are calling to him. 

He had only intended to watch some golf, but Niall ends up falling back asleep almost instantly. 

*

He wakes up a couple of hours later to a bunch of missed text messages. One from Liam, informing him that he and Louis are heading out for a bit, and then several from Shawn. 

He feels slightly guilty about missing those, because Shawn has been in town for days and they haven't seen each other yet. 

_**hey stranger whats up?**_ the first one reads. Then, almost an hour later, according to the time stamp:

_**Niiiiiiall?** _

_**N I A L L** _

Niall has to laugh at that because he can easily hear Shawn's annoyed whine in his head. The third text makes him smile because Shawn is such a sweet guy.

_**sry man. I know ur prob just busy but if not then we should hang. miss you.** _

Niall rolls onto his back and types out a reply.

 _ **sorry … slept in a bit ! wanna meet for lunch ?**_ he sends, and then quickly follows it with: _**miss you too Shawny**_ along with a kissy-face emoji. 

_**Mully's?**_ Shawn suggests.

_**perfect ! meet in like an hr ?** _

In response, Shawn just sends back a thumbs up along with a slew of heart-eye emojis. If it makes Niall blush, well, no one has to know. 

*

Niall had nearly forgotten about all the secret Santa gifts until he finds the newest one sitting on the passenger seat of his car. Normally he would be more worried about how anyone got access, but Mully has a spare set of keys. Plus at this point, Niall has just learned to roll with it and hopes he'll soon figure out who's behind it all. 

Today's gift isn't wrapped in familiar red paper, but an elegant gift bag from Paul Smith. It's not very heavy, but Niall gasps when he sees what's inside. It's a navy cashmere scarf, but that's not the shocking part. It's the exact _same_ scarf he tried to buy the last time he was hanging out with Shawn. 

Now that Niall recalls that day, he remembers how much Shawn had been distracting him while they shopped. He didn't think anything of it at the time, but now it all makes sense. Niall kept going back to look at the scarves, and Shawn managed to divert his attention every single time. Eventually, Niall forgot all about the scarf and then they went to lunch. 

Now he's holding that very same scarf in his hands, and it's just as beautiful as he remembers. It's not really cold enough for him to need it, but it actually matches the shirt he's wearing so he puts it on anyway. 

As he's folding up the gift bag, a card falls out onto his lap. 

_Just a little something to keep you warm until I can do it myself xx_ , the note reads. 

Holy fuck… maybe Shawn _does_ fancy him after all, and he's the one sending all the gifts!

It all adds up: the socks, the bar tab, the gift card, the coat, the scarf, the flowers… okay, well, maybe not _all_ of it adds up, but it's close. Niall can't quite figure out how Shawn knew about his broken earbuds, the Eagles vinyl, or why he would give him a framed picture of his band, but he suspects that his little house elves have a lot to do with some of the more personal gifts. 

The problem, however, is that Niall's heart already belongs to Harry, and Niall needs to figure out a way to let Shawn down gently. He's flattered of course, and this is all incredibly sweet and romantic, but Niall doesn't want to lead him on. 

The drive to the restaurant doesn't give Niall enough time to work out a plan, so he'll have to wing it. He immediately spots Shawn at their favorite table, but he can't help the feeling of dread that claws at his stomach as he heads over. Especially because Shawn is so happy to see him that he meets Niall halfway and drags him into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh, you went back for it?" Shawn asks once they get settled.

"Went back for what?" Niall is confused for a second until Shawn reaches out to tug on the ends of his scarf. 

"Blue is definitely your color, man. It looks hot on you," Shawn tells him. 

Wow, so they're just jumping right into this. Okay then.

"About that," Niall says as he slides his chair closer to Shawn's. "I'm flattered, really. I - "

"Relax, I'm not trying to get into your pants, man," Shawn teases before taking a sip of one of the drinks that have materialized in front of them. Shawn isn't even old enough to drink in the states yet, but being famous has its perks. 

Niall almost chokes on his beer and ends up spraying himself with it. "Jesus, I wasn't suggesting you were," he says, wide-eyed. "I just wanted to talk about the scarf."

"It's really nice," Shawn smiles. He leans forward and allows the cashmere to glide between his long fingers. 

"And the coat," Niall adds.

"Well now you're just fishing for compliments since you're not even wearing a coat," Shawn says before taking another sip of his drink. 

"No," Niall sighs, "I meant the navy coat?" 

"Dude, half of your wardrobe is navy," Shawn laughs. "You're literally _wearing_ navy right now so you need to be more specific."

Now Niall is getting flustered. "I just meant like, all the gifts?" he tries again. This is probably not the right setting to have this conversation, but Niall just really wants to get it over with. 

"Are you okay? You feel a bit warm," Shawn says as he reaches out to touch Niall's forehead with the back of his hand. 

"I'm fine, I promise. It's just… you're really sweet, and one of my best mates. You know that right?"

"Are you breaking up with me?" Shawn gasps while clutching his chest dramatically. "Please spare me the 'it's not you, it's me' speech, Niall. I'm very fragile."

"Christ," Niall hisses. "Are you trying to attract the paps?" He's mostly kidding, but there's always a few lurking around every corner.

"I'm just trying to get you to loosen up, man. What's up with you? Seriously, whatever it is, you know you can tell me right?" Shawn asks, while placing a comforting hand on Niall's arm.

"Of course," Niall nods. One of his favorite things about Shawn is how easy he is to talk to. He just hopes that what Shawn feels for him isn't more than just a crush; Niall really isn't sure how he might handle that. He takes a deep breath and then looks up at Shawn before he continues.

"I guess I should start by thanking you. For the gifts, I mean," Niall clarifies. "Some of them confused me a bit, like how you would have known, but they were all really thoughtful and - "

Shawn cuts him off abruptly. "What are you talking about?"

He looks even more confused, and Niall wishes he had kept his mouth shut. It's too late now, though. "The secret Santa gifts? The scarf? The vinyl? The coat? The - "

"You think I'm your secret Santa?" Shawn interrupts again, grinning brightly. "Oh my God, that's so _cute!_ "

Niall is starting to feel a bit light-headed now. "Wait, you're _not_ the one who's been leaving me all of the gifts?" If it's not Shawn, that puts Niall right back at square one again.

Shawn reaches out to pat Niall's hand. "I'm flattered that you think it is, but I promise it's not me."

"So you don't have a crush on me?" Niall blurts out, and he wishes he could take it back the second the words leave his mouth. Hearing it out loud sounds totally absurd. 

"Well don't sound so relieved," Shawn frowns. "It's horrible for my ego."

"Oh God," Niall whines as he covers his face with his hands, "this is so embarrassing. I should have never said anything."

"Oh no, please tell me more about how you think I've got the hots for you!" Shawn teases. "I can't wait to tell Teddy, she's going to _love_ this."

Niall immediately drops his hands and glares at Shawn. "Don't you dare."

"You know I wouldn't," Shawn promises before chugging the rest of his drink. "Seriously though, I'm flattered that you think I had a crush on you."

"I'm never going to live this down, am I?" Niall groans, even though he already knows the answer.

"Nope, literally never."

~*~

**2 Days until Christmas**

It's Christmas Eve-Eve, and Niall has been running around like a madman all day. 

Louis is having a party tomorrow in honor of both the holiday and his twenty-seventh birthday, but Niall has been so busy with Christmas stuff (see: Harry) that he completely forgot to pick up Louis' gift. The theme for the party is ugly jumpers, but Niall has that part covered at least. He's got a closet full of them, so he'll just pick one out later. 

Most of the other party arrangements have been taken care of, so Louis' gift is Niall's main priority for the day. He knows Louis wouldn't mind if it was a bit late, but Niall still wants to try and make it to the shop before they close. 

It's also two days before Christmas, and Niall remembers the store owner telling him they would be closing at four. A quick glance at his watch shows that he's got exactly thirty-six minutes to make it there, which is going to be a challenge in L.A. traffic.

He manages though, with two minutes to spare, even.

"Niall!" the shop owner greets him as Niall walks through the door. "Good timing, I was just about to close up."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Niall winces. "I've been a bit busy the past few days, and completely forgot."

"No worries," she tells him as she reaches behind the counter. "I've got your order right here, and I really hope you like it."

"I'm sure it will be lovely," Niall says as she unveils the painting for him. 

She's a local artist that Niall discovered through some friends, and he loves her work. He's got two pieces framed in his living room, and he really likes her style. Niall never really had much of an interest in art when he was younger, but over the last few years, he's really started to appreciate it. 

He easily chalks that up to Harry's influence though, just like his love for sushi and fancy spa treatments.

"Wow," he says, completely awestruck as he admires the finished piece. It's a painting of Louis holding Freddie on his lap while reading him a bedtime story, and it's one of Niall's favorite memories of them. Every time Louis would use a funny accent or voice, Freddie giggled happily. It was the cutest thing, and Niall captured the perfect picture when Freddie looked up at Louis with pure adoration in his matching blue eyes.

Niall took it nearly six months ago when Louis was in town for a visit, and he knew he had to do something special with it. It's even more perfect than Niall could have ever hoped for, and he's glad he paid extra for the gilded antique frame. 

"It's absolutely stunning; thank you so much for this," Niall says as he peels several twenties from his wallet and presses them into her palm. He's already paid for the commissioned piece, but he's a generous tipper as well. 

"Oh no," she shakes her head, "this is way too much. I can't accept this," she says as she tries to hand the money back. 

"Sorry, I've got my hands full," Niall winks as he carefully picks up the painting and folds the cover back over it. "Guess you'll just have to take it then. Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas," she smiles gratefully and slips the money into her pocket, "and thank you, this is too generous. Can I at least wrap that for you? I've got some custom-made sleeves for all occasions so I'm sure I have something perfect."

"That would be quite lovely, thank you."

*

An hour later, Niall is finally back home, and he manages to hide the painting just minutes before Louis gets back. 

"Tommo!" Niall grins as he opens the fridge and grabs two beers. "Have a drink with me."

"Cheers, mate. It's been a long day," Louis says as he accepts the beer and pops it open.

"Tell me about it," Niall agrees. "But everything is all set, right?"

"Sure is," Louis nods and takes a long swallow of his beer. "Minus the getting old part. I can't believe I'm already twenty-seven," he groans.

"Oh yeah, proper old man you are," Niall smirks as Louis flips him off. 

"I feel like one sometimes," Louis laughs. "I need to hit the gym soon because chasing a toddler around is more exhausting than it looks."

Niall cracks up at that and has to catch the beer before it spills onto his shirt. "Baby Tommo is wearing you out, eh?"

"In the best way," Louis smiles. "Being a dad is amazing. Reckon you'll make a great one too someday."

Niall blushes at that. Truth is, he would love to have kids one day. Specifically, Harry's kids, which is something he's thought a lot about.

"Thanks, Tommo. I hope I'm half as good at it as you are," Niall says finally. 

Liam arrives just a few minutes later, armed with giant bags from _In-N-Out_ that he quickly passes around.

"My hero," Niall clutches the bag to his chest. He hadn't even realized how hungry he was until Liam showed up. 

"I know we all had a lot to do today, so I made an executive dinner decision. I hope it's okay," Liam tells them. 

"Fucking brilliant," Louis mumbles around a mouthful of fries.

Niall just gives Liam a thumbs-up with his free hand because he's too busy shoveling his burger into his mouth with the other. 

He's really going to have to hit the gym after the holidays.

*

Later that evening, they're sprawled out on Niall's couch watching a movie when something catches Liam's eye. "What's that?" he asks Niall as he points up to a spot on the Christmas tree. "Has it always been there?"

Niall follows Liam's gaze, and he sees what looks like something hanging between the branches. Something _red_ , which makes Niall tense up a bit because he's just now realized that he hasn't found any gifts today. 

"First time I've noticed it," Niall says as he gets up and walks over to the tree. "Any idea how it got up there?" he asks Liam and Louis but they just shrug. 

"Of course you don't," Niall rolls his eyes dramatically before he retrieves the gift and walks back over to the couch. "No one knows anything. Everyone is the picture of innocence," Niall laughs as he wedges himself between his boys. "Twats," he adds, affectionately of course. 

Liam and Louis remain silent, but Niall catches them sneaking periodic glances at each other. He knows they've been playing secret Santa's little helpers, even if he can't prove it yet. 

The box is small enough to fit in Niall's hand and, predictably, wrapped in the same familiar red snowflake paper. Inside of it is a smaller box, the kind typically used for jewelry, which has a small key in it. It's beautiful and ornate, made of what appears to be solid brass with an antique finish. It's probably just symbolic, Niall guesses, because it doesn't look like it could actually unlock anything in this century. 

There's a note included too, which Niall quickly unfolds. 

_To my heart. Always. xx_

"Wow," Liam says as he leans over and reads the message. "That's pretty romantic."

"Yeah," Niall nods as he slumps against Liam's side. Someone is really going all out for him, and Niall is still completely clueless about who it might be. 

Maybe it really is Shawn after all, and he was just too nervous to admit it. 

There are less than two days left until Christmas now, so at least the mystery will be over soon. Niall just hopes that he isn't going to break anyone's heart though because he's all too familiar with that crushing pain. 

"Okay lads," he says a minute later after carefully putting the key back in its box. "We should get some sleep. It's been a long day, and we've got loads to do tomorrow."

When no one replies, that's when Niall realizes that they've both fallen asleep. Liam has his face pressed against Niall's neck, and Louis is passed out on his other side.

"Well that's just great," Niall laughs to himself as he stretches his legs out onto the ottoman and fishes around for his phone. 

"Aw, aren't we adorable?" Niall says as he opens Instagram. He hasn't posted anything in a while, and he knows the fans will love this. Plus, it's no longer a secret that they've been spending time together lately.

The first story Niall shares is just a soundless one of them all cuddled up together captioned with _lads sleepover !_ and a bunch of sleepy-faced emojis. The second one is a bit longer, which he narrates in an exaggerated stage whisper.

"Since they fell asleep on me, this is what they get," he says as he zooms in on Liam first. "Sleeps like an angel, doesn't he?" Niall asks fondly before redirecting his attention to Louis. 

"And here's the birthday boy! Everyone go send him lots of love," Niall adds while ruffling Louis' hair with his free hand.

Before he ends his story, Niall blows a kiss at the camera. "Goodnight, lovers."

Two minutes after his story has been posted, Niall's phone lights up with an incoming call from Harry. Thankfully, it doesn't disturb his sleeping beauties since he tends to keep it on silent most of the time. 

"Hi," Niall speaks as quietly as he can while burrowing deeper into the couch. 

"Should I be jealous?" Harry teases, which tells Niall that Harry must have watched his Instagram story. He doesn't follow Niall from his public account, but he's got a private one for close friends and family. 

"Of?" Niall asks sweetly, even though he knows exactly what Harry is hinting at.

"The fact that you're currently cuddled between two handsome lads who aren't me?" Harry huffs, and Niall can almost hear his eyes rolling. 

"They fell asleep while we were watching telly, I promise it's nothing scandalous," Niall assures him.

"I figured," Harry laughs. "I'm just teasing you, Ni. I know we're supposed to be taking things slow right now, but I _really_ wish you were here." 

There's an edge of desperation in Harry's voice that makes Niall skin flush, despite the cool temperature of his house.

"Where are you?" Niall asks, even though he's pretty sure he knows the answer. It's late, and Harry's not much of a party animal these days. 

"In bed, thinking of you," Harry admits easily. He sounds a bit breathless, and it's affecting Niall in a really unfair way.

"Are you… um… " Niall hesitates because he honestly wasn't expecting this tonight.

"Wanking?" Harry answers boldly. "Not yet. Wanna talk me through it?" he asks in a deep drawl that melts Niall's brain a little.

"I'm not exactly alone," Niall says, but he knows that won't deter Harry in the least. 

"That just makes it even hotter," Harry counters.

He's not wrong though, and Niall can feel his resistance starting to weaken. "Unbelievable," he says, but this is pretty tame compared to some of the other things they've done together when their mates were sleeping nearby. 

_"Niall,"_ Harry begs, which is absolutely not helping the growing situation in Niall's trousers. 

"Jesus, Haz," Niall hisses as he reaches down to adjust himself. It doesn't fix anything, but at least it gives his dick a little more breathing room. 

"It won't take long, I swear. I just _really_ need to come," Harry pleads.

That's exactly when Niall realizes he's lost this battle. Especially with how vividly he can picture Harry spread out on his big bed, dick leaking all over his stomach as he gets himself off. 

"Touch yourself for me," Niall orders. "Pretend it's my hand wrapped around your beautiful cock, and tell me how it feels."

Harry lets out a soft moan and Niall can hear the familiar rustling of his silk sheets. "Feels good," he whispers after a few seconds, and the sound goes straight to Niall's dick. Harry has always been delightfully vocal in bed, and Niall loves all the different sounds he can get out of him.

"Just like that, love. Think about what we would be doing if I was there," Niall says as he spreads his thighs. He's so hard that his cock is rubbing against his zipper, and the pressure is maddening.

"I want to ride you," Harry chokes out as he works himself so roughly that Niall can hear the soft thumping of Harry's headboard. "I've missed that so much."

 _"Fuck,"_ Niall pants. "I want that too, pet. You always take my cock so well," he says, and he's actually starting to sweat a little from how turned on he is. He really regrets not rushing up to his room when Harry called, but it's too late for that now. He would never be able to untangle himself from Liam and Louis without waking them up.

"You always feel _so_ good inside me," Harry tells him, voice shaking slightly so Niall knows he's getting close. 

"Jesus, H, you make the prettiest sounds," Niall praises. "I bet you're really wet for me, aren't you?" he asks in a low voice as he urges Harry on.

"Yeah," Harry agrees. "Making a mess of myself, honestly," he says, and Niall can actually hear the slick-slide of Harry's hand as he jerks himself off. 

It's so hot that Niall has to squeeze his thighs together in a feeble attempt to create some kind of friction. He briefly considers giving in and having a quick wank, but he can do that later. For now, he's more than happy to help Harry out, even at the risk of being caught. 

"I wish I could see you right now," Niall whispers. "And touch you and kiss you and _taste_ you," he says as he struggles not to shove a hand down his pants. All it would take is a couple of firm strokes to get himself off, especially with the way Harry is whimpering right into his ear. 

"So close," Harry gasps. "Need to come, _please_."

"Let me hear you," Niall demands. "Just imagine you're coming all over my chest the way you love to do when you're riding me," he says and that's all it takes.

Harry comes with a loud cry of Niall's name and then the next few seconds are just a litany of strangled curses as Harry works himself through it. _"Fuck,"_ he pants into the phone a moment later. "That was amazing."

"And hot as fuck," Niall laughs. "You're killin' me, babe."

"I could return the favor," Harry offers, still breathing heavily. "I bet I can make you come in no time."

"I wish," Niall says, "but you know I'd never hear the end of it if I got caught."

"Probably not," Harry giggles, which causes a familiar warmth to bloom in Niall's chest because Harry's laugh is Niall's favorite sound in the world.

"I promise to make it up to you though," Harry adds suggestively. 

"I'm holding you to that," Niall says, grinning fondly even though Harry can't see him.

"Good," Harry replies in a sleepy voice that makes Niall really hate the distance between them. They only live a few miles apart, but right now it feels like a whole lot further.

"Get some sleep, darling. I'll see you at the party tomorrow, right?" Niall asks. 

"Wouldn't miss it. Let me know if you need help with anything, okay?" 

"I will, thank you. Good night, petal."

"Sweet dreams, baby," Harry murmurs before he ends the call.

Niall slips his phone into his pocket and sighs happily. He and Harry still have a lot to sort out, but Niall is cautiously optimistic that they'll be able to make things work this time. If not, then at least he'll have a lot of inspiration for his next album. 

"You could have just wanked, you know," Louis says suddenly, which shocks Niall right out of his thoughts. "We've all done it on the tour bus before, not much different is it?"

"Go the fuck to sleep," Niall snaps as he shoves at Louis' shoulder. "Should've known you pervs were still awake," he groans when he feels Liam shifting next to him

"Your dirty talk is impressive," Liam says as he peeks up at Niall. "I might have to get a few pointers from you."

"I hate you both," Niall grumbles as he hauls himself off of the couch. 

"Lies. You love us," Louis laughs as he scoots towards Liam and uses his thigh as a pillow. They both fall asleep almost instantly, and Niall hates to admit how adorable they look. He can't even be too annoyed with them when they're being cute, so he grabs a blanket and tucks it around them.

"Happy birthday, Tommo," he whispers, as he pulls out his phone and snaps a quick picture.

He's already posted enough for one night, so tomorrow he'll upload it as revenge. 

~*~

**1 Day until Christmas**

"That is the most hideous thing I've ever seen," Louis laughs as they sort through Niall's collection of ugly jumpers. 

The party doesn't start for a few hours, but everything is all set. Liam and Niall even snuck over to Louis' place before he woke up just to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything. The cake has already been delivered too, so all that's really left is for Niall to decide what to wear. 

"I kind of like it," Liam smiles as he plucks the jumper from its hanger and holds it up. It's a green monstrosity covered in plastic ornaments and tiny lights that Niall glued onto it himself. 

"You would," Louis snorts.

"The lights work, too," Niall says proudly. "I think the battery is dead, but I even won a contest with that one."

"I'd be offended on your behalf if you didn't," Louis smirks. 

Niall sticks his tongue out at him while continuing to rifle through his closet. 

"How about this one?" Liam asks as he holds up a simple red jumper. There are no flashy bits, but the caption is funny. 

_It's the most wonderful time for a beer_ it reads, and it's got an alternating pattern of tiny pint glasses and Christmas trees. 

Niall gasps softly when he looks up because Harry gave him that particular one three years ago. It's one of Niall's favorites, even if it isn't as tacky as some of his others.

"It's perfect," Niall says as he takes it from Liam and quickly pulls it on. It's a little tighter than he remembers it being, but it still fits pretty well. 

Louis gives Niall a thumbs up. "Looks good!"

"Oh my god," Liam shrieks suddenly. "Can I borrow this one?" he asks Niall as he holds up a mint green jumper featuring Santa Claus riding on a T-Rex. Niall had forgotten he even owned that one, but it's much more Liam's style anyway. 

"You can keep it if you like it that much," Niall grins. 

Liam quickly puts it on and twirls happily in front of the mirror. "I _love_ it, thank you!"

"Glad that's sorted then," Louis says as he heads back into Niall's bedroom.

"So," Louis starts once they're all piled onto Niall's bed and working their way through a box of Christmas cookies. 

Niall groans because he's known Louis long enough to know that nothing good is about to follow.

Liam laughs and stuffs another cookie into his mouth because he's known Louis just as long.

"I spoke to Harry earlier," Louis continues, looking amused. 

Niall's eyes widen in shock. "And?"

"He seemed pretty cheerful. Nearly talked my bloody ear off about some git he's bonkers over. It was kind of cute, actually," Louis winks.

 _"Tommo,"_ Niall blushes. "Teasing me gives you a twisted satisfaction doesn't it?"

"Consider it a birthday gift," Louis shrugs.

"It's going to be a long day," Niall groans again.

"Fine," Louis relents as he reaches out to muss Niall's hair. "He wanted advice."

Niall perks up at that. "About?"

"Relationships," Louis says. He wanted to know how El and I have managed to make things work so well over the years, considering everything we've been through."

"Oh," Niall's face falls. "Is he already having doubts about us?"

Louis smiles warmly at him. "On the contrary, he's never been happier."

Niall is instantly flooded with relief. "Did he actually tell you that?"

Louis shakes his head. "He didn't have to. Not in so many words, anyway. I could hear it in his voice. He told me about what a right mess he made of things last time, and how all he wants to do is make you happy. Got pretty soppy over it, actually." 

"He did?" Niall stares in disbelief at the idea of Harry calling Louis of all people to ask for relationship advice. Not that Louis isn't a solid choice, it's just that things got pretty strained between them before the band went on break. Niall is happy that they've gotten past that though, and that there doesn't seem to be any residual tension between them.

"Yeah," Louis nods. "It was really sweet, actually. Really gone on you, that one is."

"Wow," Niall says, "And what advice did you give him?"

"Nothing he doesn't already know, honestly," Louis tells him. I just reminded him that he can't fuck off when things get tough and that it's all about communication."

"We're getting better at that," Niall says. "Maybe the time apart actually did us some good."

"I'm sure it did," Liam smiles as he reaches out to squeeze Niall's shoulder. 

"And now you soppy twats can work on the whole 'happily ever after' thing," Louis adds.

"I really hope so," Niall says seriously before leaning in to kiss each of them on the cheek.  
"I love you guys, and I'm so glad you're both here." 

"Gross," Louis winces as he wipes a trail of Niall's cookie crumbs from his face. "Love me a little less, please?"

"Never," Niall laughs as he pins Louis down and kisses his other cheek. 

*

The party is in full swing by the time Harry arrives, arms loaded with gift bags that he shoves at Louis.

"What's all this?" Louis asks as he sets the bags down and pulls Harry in for a hug.

"Happy Christmas-birthday!" Harry cheers. "It's not all for you, though. There are gifts for Freddie and Eleanor also."

"It's not Gucci's entire fall line is it?" Louis jokes as he inspects the mountain of bags.

"No," Harry glares, "but just for that, I should return all of your presents and let Alessandro pick out some things for you." 

Louis pretends to gag. "Just tell me honestly," he says as he leans in and slings an arm around Harry's neck. "Are you trapped in some sort of cult? Like, are you going to be punished for wearing this?" he cackles as he tugs on the sleeve of Harry's blazer. "I'm pretty sure it's not Gucci, even though it's hideous enough."

"Heeeeey," Harry pouts, "It's festive!" Instead of an ugly jumper, he's chosen to wear a bright green sequined blazer which is completely adorned with glittering Christmas lights.

"Don't mind the birthday boy, he's already a bit sloshed," Liam says as he appears next to Harry and slides an arm around him. "You look gorgeous, babe."

"Thank you, Liam, you always give the best compliments," Harry smiles as he wraps Liam up in a hug. 

"You know I'm just taking the piss, Hazza. You really do look lovely," Louis agrees.

"Thanks, Lou," Harry grins, "I just wanted to do something a bit different."

"Trust me, it's perfect." Liam assures him. "Niall will love it."

"Speaking of," Harry looks around the room, "where is he?"

"In the kitchen," Louis replies. "Just behave yourselves, okay? I'm happy for you lads, but I really don't need an instant replay of the other night."

Harry mimics crossing his heart. "I'll be on my best behavior, I promise."

Louis raises a skeptical eyebrow at him. "Won't be the first time we've heard _that_." 

Harry flashes him a cheeky smile in return. "Won't be the first time I've lied about it." 

*

Niall is busy putting together a platter of sandwiches when Harry sneaks up behind him. 

"That looks delicious," he says as he slides his arms around Niall's waist. 

"Thank you," Niall startles slightly, but immediately settles back against Harry when he realizes who it is. "Liam made them, but I arranged them all fancy," he boasts. 

"I meant _you_ ," Harry laughs as he presses a soft kiss against the back of Niall's neck. "But the sandwiches look good too," he says as Niall turns to face him.

"Hi," Niall says as he steps closer. 

"Hi," Harry grins while reaching out to tilt Niall's face up. "May I kiss you?" he asks as he brushes his thumb along Niall's jawline.

"Please," Niall nods as he leans forward. Harry's lips are soft and warm when they press against his and he smells fresh, like the cool night air. 

"Merry Christmas Eve," Harry says when he pulls away. 

"Merry Christmas Eve," Niall echoes, while reaching out to admire the sequins on Harry's blazer. "Oh my _God_ , you really outdid yourself." 

"I did, didn't I?" Harry's face lights up at the compliment.

Niall reaches for Harry's hand and takes it into his own. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you. So do you, Ni. I can't believe you still have this jumper," Harry says while running his free hand over the soft material.

"It's my favorite," Niall admits as he leans his forehead against Harry's.

"You're _my_ favorite Harry whispers before cupping Niall's jaw and kissing him again. 

"I told you we'd find them snogging," Louis sighs as he and Liam enter the kitchen. 

"And _we're_ not even the ones standing under the mistletoe," Harry points out as he pulls back and slides an arm around Niall.

"What?" Louis sputters as his cheeks immediately turn a deep shade of pink. 

Niall just snickers as he points above their heads.

"Oh, yeah," Liam laughs, looking a bit flushed himself. "Forgot that was up there."

"Get on with it then," Harry urges. "Better make it good, too."

"You know it's bad luck if you don't," Niall adds, as he sneaks a glance at Harry.

"Pretty sure I heard that somewhere," Harry says as he tries to suppress a laugh. 

"Bitches," Louis hisses at them before he turns to Liam. "So how about it, Payno? Obviously we don't have to - " 

"Don't get shy on me now, babe," Liam winks. "It's not like we all haven't snogged each other at some point, right?" 

Before Louis even has a chance to register what's happening, Liam grips him by the front of his jumper and presses their mouths together. Louis lets out a muffled squeak of surprise, but then he seems to settle a bit as he finally kisses back. 

It's over in a matter of seconds, and then Liam is pulling away with a smug smile. "And that's how it's done, boys," he laughs before leaning over to grab a sandwich from Niall's platter. 

"Wow," Harry says, "not bad."

"We can do better," Niall huffs as he tilts Harry's face towards his own. 

"Challenge accepted," Harry smiles, but then he's suddenly being hauled backward by Louis.

" _Christ_ , lads, enough with the snogging. I think it's time to open presents!" Louis demands as he ushers everyone into the living room.

*

"It had to be Gucci," Louis laughs as he opens the last of Harry's gifts. The first few were mostly toys for Freddie that Louis promised to wrap, but there were also several other things, including new ski outfits for Louis and Eleanor. 

"They're amazing," Louis smiles fondly as he unfolds the matching Christmas jumpers that Harry got for him and Freddie.

"It's not the _entire_ fall line, but I thought you might like them," Harry teases. "I remember you telling me how much Freddie loves snowmen, so I had these custom made," he explains.

The jumpers are black cashmere, with two snowmen pictured on the front. One is smaller than the other, but they both have bright blue sequins for eyes and matching red scarves. They're clearly meant to represent Louis and Freddie and then scrawled along the bottom in elegant white script are the words _Merry Christmas_. The only indication of the brand is the tiny Gucci logos stitched onto the scarves. 

"I love them," Louis says as he pulls Harry into a tight hug. "Seriously, I can't thank you enough, Freddie is going to be so thrilled."

"You're welcome," Harry beams as he hugs Louis back. "Happy birthday, Lou."

"Mine next!" Niall says as he rushes to retrieve his gift from behind the Christmas tree where he stashed it earlier. The wrapping leaves little to the imagination, so Niall wanted to keep it a surprise as long as possible. "C'mon, let's sit," he tells Louis as he leads him over to the couch.

"Whoa," Louis exclaims as Niall hands him the gift. "Please say it's not a nude painting of you, mate. I love you and all, but I really don't need your naked arse on display in my living room."

"Prefer to hang it in the bedroom, eh?" Niall smirks. 

Louis rolls his eyes, but otherwise ignores the comment as he carefully slides the painting out of its sleeve and turns over the protective cover. "Niall...this is…wow," he stutters as he takes in the painting. "I don't even know what to say."

"Niall wraps an arm around Louis' shoulder and gives him a squeeze. "Happy birthday, Tommo; I really hope you like it."

"Are you kidding me? I _love_ it," Louis sniffs as he struggles to hold back his tears. "It's absolutely stunning," he continues as he throws himself at Niall and hugs him hard.

"I'm really glad you like it," Niall says as he hugs him back. "Not better than my naked arse, though, right?" 

Louis snorts at that as he pulls back. "Loads better. Although now I'm worried that one of these days, that's exactly what I'm going to get when I least expect it."

"Don't give him any ideas," Liam warns, "or next year we'll all get paintings of Niall lying starkers in front of a fireplace." 

"Too late, orders have already been placed," Harry jokes as he joins them on the couch.

*

"Dance with me," Niall says as he leads Harry out onto Louis' patio and pulls him close. 

Everyone else is inside stuffing their faces with birthday cake, so Niall takes the opportunity to steal a few minutes alone with Harry. It's peaceful outside without all of the party noise, and the backyard lighting creates a romantic glow around them.

"There's no music," Harry points out, though he doesn't seem the least bit bothered by that fact as he gives Niall a twirl and pulls him close. 

"Don't need it, do we?" Niall wraps his arms around Harry's neck as they sway to a nonexistent tune. 

"You could sing to me," Harry suggests. 

"I could," Niall nods. "Or," he says while leaning into Harry's space, "I could kiss you instead," he finishes just as their lips brush together.

"My boyfriend is a genius," Harry smiles as he leans in to kiss Niall again.

The wind starts to pick up a bit, but Niall is plenty warm as he deepens the kiss and reaches up to give Harry's curls a sharp tug. 

Harry whimpers against Niall's mouth as he presses even closer and squeezes Niall's hips.

It takes a moment or two, but Harry's words finally register in Niall's mind as he pulls away suddenly. 

"Wait," Niall says as he stops to catch his breath. "Boyfriend?" 

"Fuck," Harry's eyes go wide. "I didn't even realize. I swear I didn't mean to - " 

Niall cuts him off with a frantic kiss. "Christ, Harry," he says when they come up for air. "Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?"

"Actually, I do," Harry murmurs before dragging his lips against the scruff on Niall's jaw. "Two years, eleven months, three weeks, two days and," Harry pauses to check the time on Niall's watch, "roughly three hours or so." 

"Jesus," Niall gasps, nearly choking on a laugh. "You actually did the math?"

"No," Harry laughs as he pats Niall's cheek. "That was just for dramatic flair, though I'd wager it's a pretty good estimate."

"Yeah, probably," Niall agrees. "It felt like a lifetime, honestly." 

"Niall," Harry says as he reaches for Niall's hand, "I know this isn't exactly the right time, but can we please have that talk now? About us? I thought about waiting until after Christmas, but I don't want to wait anymore."

"Funny, I was actually thinking the same thing," Niall grins before kissing Harry again. "Tommo's room?" he suggests. "He's got plenty of people to keep him entertained, so he won't miss us for a bit." 

"Perfect," Harry says as they quietly make their way back into the house.

*

They end up in Louis' game room instead, because it has a plush couch and it's hidden away in a private corner of the house. 

Once they get settled, Harry reaches for Niall and pulls him close. 

"I need to start by telling you that I love you. God, I love you _so_ much, Niall. I've always loved you, and I'm so sorry for everything I've put you through. Especially, for leaving without ever telling you that. Officially, I mean. I know we often said it casually, but I just wish I would have told you when it mattered the most." 

Niall opens his mouth to object, but Harry silences him with a quick peck on the lips.

"There's more, I promise. It gutted me to leave you that morning, but I knew that neither of us were ready for a serious commitment back then. We were both working on new things and - " 

"I was," Niall interrupts.

"You were what?" Harry asks, looking confused. 

"I was ready," Niall clarifies. "Don't get me wrong, I love touring and making music, but I was also looking forward to the break. I was hoping that we could finally spend some proper time together and actually focus on us for a while. I thought you might want that too, but we obviously had very different ideas back then," Niall shrugs. 

"Oh, love," Harry breathes out. "I'm so sorry I wasn't more attentive to your feelings. God, I was such a terrible boyfriend. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Stop that," Niall says as he pulls Harry into his arms. "It's not all on you, H. There are a lot of things I could have done differently too. I should have never told you I loved you when I knew you were leaving. That was selfish and unfair."

"No," Harry disagrees. "You were just being honest. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Yeah, I guess," Niall concedes, "but my timing couldn't have been worse. You didn't need the added pressure, and I'm sorry about that, I really am."

"It wasn't your fault," Harry protests. " _I'm_ the one who fucked up, okay? I never meant to hurt you, but things were just happening so fast. I didn't handle any of it very well, and I hope you can forgive me."

"No," Niall shakes his head. "No more playing the blame game, okay? Who knows, maybe I wasn't ready after all. It's not like I didn't have my own songs that I wanted to work on too. Dwelling on the past isn't going to fix anything, so can we please just focus on our future instead?"

"I'd really like that," Harry smiles as he leans into Niall's touch. "Now, if I may, there are still a few more things I wanted to tell you. Things you really deserve to hear. Properly, that is."

"Of course, petal," Niall says as he pulls back and gives Harry his undivided attention.

"I am such a fucking idiot," Harry starts as he reaches for Niall's hands and laces their fingers together. "Seriously, there's no other explanation for walking away from the love of my life when I've spent nearly three years trying to figure out how to get him back. I know I fucked up, Ni, and I don't deserve a second chance, but I'm grateful that you'd even consider it. I think about you every moment we're apart, and I constantly find myself counting down the days and hours until I can see you again. You make me happy in ways that I never knew existed before we met. You inspire me to be the best version of myself, someone I'm proud to be. You're my best friend, and you're the person I want to share everything with - the good and the bad. That's what I should have told you years ago, but I promise I'll never hold my feelings back again," Harry finishes, looking hopeful. 

"Harry," Niall rasps as he struggles to find his voice. "That was absolutely worth waiting for," he smiles before kissing Harry again. 

"I love you so much," Harry sniffs as he rubs the back of Niall's neck. 

"Haz," Niall says as he pulls back slightly. "I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. I've loved you since we were sixteen and you came to visit me and my family in Mullingar. I loved you for kissing me first when I was too scared to make a move. I loved you for being there literally every step of the way during my recovery after knee surgery, for taking care of me every time I got sick, for always making me laugh like no one else can, for believing in me even whenever I've doubted myself, and for being my best friend in the entire world," Niall pauses as he reaches up to cradle Harry's face. 

"I've never stopped loving you, Harry. Time and distance haven't changed the way I feel about you and they never will," Niall insists before dragging Harry forward and kissing him slowly. 

"Ni," Harry says a moment later, voice cracking slightly. "That was beautiful, and I'm so sorry for - "

"Nope," Niall cuts him off with another kiss. "No more apologies; we're done with that, remember?"

"Okay," Harry nods as he hides his face against Niall's neck. 

"Hey," Niall says as he lifts Harry's head back up. "I know it's incredibly cliché to say that everything happens for a reason, but I think there's some truth to that. If we hadn't broken up, I don't think the last few years would have happened quite the way they did. I know we had some rough moments, but we had a lot of amazing success too. So who knows," he continues as he slides onto Harry's lap, "maybe things were just meant to happen this way."

Harry wraps his arms around Niall's waist and holds him steady. "Yeah, maybe. It's best not to overthink it, I suppose. And just be grateful that we've found our way back to each other."

"Exactly," Niall nods. "So, does this mean we're officially back together then?"

"For as long as you'll have me," Harry smiles. 

"I was thinking maybe forever?" Niall suggests as he nudges his nose against Harry's.

"Forever sounds good to me," Harry agrees.

"Good," Niall kisses the tip of Harry's nose. "Just promise me something though?"

"Anything, baby," Harry says as he holds Niall tighter.

"I don't expect everything to magically be perfect between us. I know it's going to take work and effort on both of our parts, but we need to communicate better this time," Niall continues. "So no matter what it is, _please_ promise we'll work through it. I can't lose you again, Harry. It would crush me." 

"I promise," Harry says as he tilts his head and leans in to kiss Niall softly. 

"I promise too, my darling," Niall adds when they pull apart. "So should we head back downstairs before Tommo sends out a search party?"

"That's probably a good idea," Harry laughs. "To be continued then, _boyfriend_?" 

"Definitely," Niall grins as he climbs off of Harry's lap and offers him a hand. 

"Let's go, _boyfriend_."

*

"You two better not have fucked on my bed," Louis scolds them as Niall and Harry head down the stairs with their arms wrapped around each other. They can hardly walk like that, hips bumping with each step, but they make it work.

"Well, at least it would be getting some action," Niall teases. "You should be thanking us, honestly." 

Louis flips them off and heads into the kitchen. "Found them!" he tells Liam. "Fuckers were upstairs having a shag, probably. They look proper indecent, don't they?" 

Liam barks out a laugh as he takes in their disheveled appearance. "They do look like they had quite a go at it."

"We did _not_ , for the record," Harry says defensively as he grabs Liam around the waist and tickles his sides. "We do have manners, you know."

"We just had some stuff to sort out, that's all," Niall explains as he hops up onto the counter and gestures for Harry to join him.

Harry releases Liam with a playful shove and then moves to stand in the open space between Niall's thighs. Niall gives him a private smile as he leans forward and slides his arms around Harry's neck. 

"That still doesn't explain why you look like you were rolling around together," Louis snorts as he grabs some beers from the fridge. "But hey, I'm not here to judge."

"None for me, thanks," Harry says, shaking his head when Louis offers him a beer. "I have to be going soon, actually."

"What? Why?" Niall asks as he checks his watch. "It's only half ten." Harry has only been there for a couple of hours, but he's never been a big fan of parties anyway. Niall is actually surprised that he's stayed this long. 

"Sorry, love," Harry frowns, "I just have a few last-minute things to get done before tomorrow, so I guess I just procrastinated a bit too much," he admits.

Niall pulls Harry closer and rubs his shoulders. "That's okay, love. Will I see you tomorrow?"

He doesn't expect Harry to spend his entire break with him, but Niall would like to see him as much as possible while they've got the time. 

"Of course," Harry says as he leans in for a kiss. From this angle, they're almost the same height. "How about breakfast in the morning? I'll come over and cook, even," he offers. 

Niall cups Harry's cheek and kisses him once more. "That sounds perfect. Thank you, baby."

What Harry will cook, Niall isn't sure. He eats pretty healthy these days, opting for vegetarian most of the time, with the exception of certain types of fish or seafood. It's a lovely gesture, though, and for Harry, Niall is even willing to choke down something with tofu and sprouts in it.

"I'll probably head out too if you don't mind?" Liam asks Louis as he hands him the beer that he's barely touched. "I'm going to FaceTime with Chez and Bear in a few hours, and I don't want to be half asleep while I watch him opening his gifts."

"Nah, mate, not at all. I'm glad you'll at least get to see the little lad for a bit," Louis says. "Besides, Nialler will stick around and have a drink with me, won't you?" 

"You mean you're going to grill me," Niall smirks. "Don't think I don't know what you're playing at, Tomlinson."

Louis gives him a cheeky grin and reaches out to tap his bottle against Niall's. "You know me so well."

That, Niall, does. He's always been able to read Louis like a book, and he's glad that some things never change.

"Shall we then?" Liam asks Harry. "If it's not too much trouble, maybe you can drop me off at Niall's on your way home?"

"No trouble at all," Harry replies. "I'd love the company."

"Perfect," Liam says before turning to Louis and holding his arms out. "See you tomorrow at some point, hopefully?"

Louis hugs him tightly and wraps his arms around Liam's neck. "Definitely. I'll pop over after Freddie opens all his presents."

"Ace," Liam says, hesitating a bit before he darts forward and kisses Louis right on the mouth. He pulls back quickly, clearly amused by Louis' bewildered expression. "Mistletoe, remember?" 

"Oh, right," Louis blushes scarlet as he looks up and realizes they're standing back in the doorway. "Didn't get enough the first time, eh?" 

"It's your birthday, I thought you deserved an extra snog," Liam smiles before turning back to Harry. "Meet out front in a few? I just have to go grab my jacket."

"I'll be right there," Harry answers Liam as he and Niall exchange amused glances. 

"See you tomorrow," Liam tells Niall as he pats his thigh. "I'm knackered, so I'll probably be passed out by the time you get back." 

Niall reaches out to ruffle Liam's hair. "Later, Payno."

"Night, lads. Merry Christmas!" Liam regards them all before he exits the kitchen.

"You really don't mind that I'm leaving early, do you?" Harry asks as he turns back to face Niall.

"Not at all, babe. It's not even that early, really. I'm going to have a few pints with Tommo and then I'll probably head home too."

Niall is bone-tired from such a long day, but he's happy to hang out a bit longer and spend some quality time with Louis. They've seen plenty of each other over the break, but they haven't had a lot of time alone together. The party isn't over yet, but there are still enough people there that Niall can steal Louis away for a bit without feeling guilty about it.

"I love you," Harry whispers as he leans in for another kiss, sweet and slow. 

"I love you too," Niall murmurs against Harry's mouth and rubs the back of his neck. "Good night, love."

"Night, baby," Harry gives Niall one more peck before dragging himself away and moving over to stand by Louis.

"I hate you both for being so disgustingly cute," Louis groans as he gives Harry a light shove. "It's gross."

"Don't be such a Grinch, Lou," Harry jokes as he pulls Louis into a hug. "I hope you had a nice birthday, though."

"One of the best, honestly," Louis tells him. "Glad you could be a part of it, Haz. Thanks again for everything."

"You're welcome," Harry smiles as he kisses Louis on the forehead. "I better go now before Liam nicks my keys and leaves without me," he laughs as he pulls back and sprints out of the kitchen. "Bye, babes!" he calls out as he disappears in a flurry of long limbs and green sequins.

"Nialler," Louis chirps as he pulls two more beers out of the fridge and hands one to Niall. 

"Yes, I'll tell you everything now, you nosy sod," Niall snickers. 

Louis claps him on the thigh and reaches for a bag of Doritos. 

"Good lad."

*

Niall finally makes it home around eleven forty-five, after four beers and nearly the entire bag of Doritos that he shared with Louis. They had a really great talk, and Niall told him all about getting back together with Harry. He expected Louis to have some reservations about it, but Louis was genuinely happy for them.

"Just remember what I told you before, yeah?" Louis had reminded him. "Communication is the key, mate."

In hindsight, Niall supposes the reason he pushed his feelings aside so often when they were having problems is that he was always so eager to keep the peace. He hates confrontations, and it was just so much easier to swallow his thoughts and pretend everything was fine until things blew over. 

It was a toxic way to live though and he never wants to hold anything back from Harry ever again. 

Not that he held _everything_ back, of course. He's stubborn and Irish, which is an intense combination. There were a few times, however, that Niall wishes he had vocalized his concerns more. Things he should have said instead of just ignoring them, and things he should have asked instead of being afraid to cause an argument. 

Arguments aren't all bad, Niall has come to realize. It's the silence that kills a relationship when everyone walks on eggshells and dances around their feelings. 

As he trudges up the stairs, Niall can't help smiling to himself. He's not dreaming this time, Harry is finally his again, and Niall couldn't be happier. He wants to run and shout: 'Harry Styles is my boyfriend!' from his balcony, but he's pretty sure his management team might up and quit if he did that.

It's bad enough that they're probably busy diffusing reunion rumors, but Niall can't really bring himself to care. Despite the success of his solo career, Niall has never given up on his band. He wants the reunion just as much as the fans do, but it can't happen until the timing is right. Not just for the guys, but for everyone involved since it's a multi-layered process. It's more than just deciding to get back together again, it's the publicity, the paperwork, and of course, figuring out how to coordinate all of their busy schedules.

Once he reaches his bedroom, Niall switches the light on and has to choke back a scream the second he realizes he's not alone. 

"What the hell?" he shouts as he takes in the scene in front of him. 

Harry is lying on his bed, completely covered in wrapping paper from neck to toe.

 _Red_ wrapping paper.

With white snowflakes printed on it. 

There's also a giant red bow stuck to the middle of his chest. It doesn't look very comfortable, but Harry seems thoroughly pleased with himself. 

"Holy fuck," Niall says as he makes the connection. "Harry!" he cries as he rushes over to the bed and sits down beside him. "It was _you_?" 

"Surprise!" Harry smiles as he wiggles his arms free and pulls Niall down for a kiss. "I thought you might have figured it out by now, but I'm actually glad you didn't." 

"Wait, are you naked?" Niall asks suddenly as he gets a peek at Harry's bare chest.

Harry shakes his head. "Not completely, no. All the naughty bits are still covered. I thought you might like to unwrap those yourself," he winks. "We're going to owe Liam big time for this, though; he's the one who wrapped me up."

"Oh my God," Niall laughs. "I _knew_ they were in on it! So is this the real reason you both left early?" Niall asks as he carefully removes the bow from Harry's chest and starts ripping off chunks of wrapping paper.

"It was all part of my elaborate plan to woo you properly," Harry explains. "It was Lou's job to keep you at his place for a while, so Liam and I would have enough time to finish up here."

"Wait, how long have you been like this?" Niall asks. "I was at Tommo's for over an hour before I came home."

"Not that long, I promise," Harry laughs. "I had a couple of things to take care of first, so I asked Lou to text me when you left. I knew the wrapping wouldn't take that long, so Liam and I got started on that once we knew you were on your way home."

"Harry… I can't believe you did all this for me," Niall says. "There were a couple of times that I thought it might be you, but then there were things that didn't quite add up. _Oh_ ," he says suddenly as a thought occurs to him "Shawn was in on it too, wasn't he?"'

"He was indeed," Harry nods. "Remember when you went shopping together the last time he was in town? You mentioned that you were going to hang out with him, so I rang him up and asked if he wouldn't mind helping me. I needed some gift ideas for you, so he promised to distract you from buying too much."

Niall is beyond impressed. "Sneaky _and_ brilliant. How long have you been planning this for?" he asks as he peels off the rest of the wrapping paper and tosses it onto the floor. Harry was right, he's not completely naked, he's just wearing a tight pair of black briefs that leave zero to the imagination. Not that Niall's memory needs any jogging in that department.

"Since October, I think? I already had most of the plan figured out, but I needed a bit of help. In fact," Harry continues, "if you check the bottom drawer of your dresser, there's another present in there for you."

Niall gives Harry an amused look before following his instructions and retrieving the gift. This one is wrapped in elegant gold paper which Niall immediately tears into as he sits back down on the bed.

" _Harry_ ," Niall says once he's got it fully unwrapped. It turns out to be another framed picture, but this time it's a group shot of presumably everyone who helped Harry with the project, all wearing Santa hats. Niall can't tell where the picture was taken, but they're all standing around a big Christmas tree. It's Liam, Louis, Tara, Shawn, Mully, a few of the guys on Niall's security team, a couple of employees from his studio, and then in the middle of them all: Harry. Smiling brightly, and pointing ridiculous finger guns at the camera.

"Unbelievable," Niall laughs as he carefully sets the picture aside and takes Harry's face into his hands. "Thank you _so_ much; this is the most ridiculously romantic thing anyone's ever done for me," he adds before leaning forward and kissing Harry slowly.

"You're welcome, my love," Harry murmurs against Niall's mouth when he pulls back. "I'm really glad I could surprise you. I've been thinking about this… about _us_ , I mean, for a while now. Ever since Dublin, if I'm honest."

"Wow," Niall says, clearly stunned. "That was over eight months ago." 

Back on their tours, Harry and Niall had both managed to end up in Dublin at the same exact time, but for different reasons. Harry was playing a show at 3Arena, and Niall was there to record his performance with the RTÉ Concert Orchestra. 

"I know," Harry nods. "It just got me thinking a lot more about us after that night. Probably even before then. I knew we were both in town that day, literally just minutes apart from each other, and I wanted to call you so badly," Harry tells him. "I was already planning on inviting you to the show that night anyway, but - "

"Then I just showed up," Niall says, recalling the memory.

"Yeah," Harry grins at him. "I was going to call you right after we finished the rehearsal, and then suddenly there you were. I was so shocked to see you that I totally fucked up the song," he laughs.

"It was just one line, pet. It wasn't that bad," Niall says as he kisses Harry's cheek.

"I don't even remember that part too much, really," Harry shrugs. "I just remember looking up and seeing an angel walking towards me."

 _"Harry,"_ Niall blushes as he ducks his head shyly. 

"What? It's true," Harry insists as he tilts Niall's face up for another kiss. "You were even wearing white. It was very magical, except for the part where I had to constantly stop myself from kissing you," Harry fake-pouts.

"You shouldn't have," Niall teases. "Can't say I hadn't been thinking the same thing, though. I lost count of all the times that I wanted to snog you senseless."

"God, we're hopeless," Harry laughs as he anchors his hands on Niall's hips and pulls him closer.

Niall pokes at Harry's cheek, right in his dimple. "Worked out though, didn't it?"

"That it did, baby," Harry agrees. "So that's what started it all. When you showed up that night in Dublin, it just got me thinking about how in tune with each other we've always been. It also made me realize, or realize even _more_ , I should say, about what a complete fucking idiot I was. I think being back in Ireland was a big part of it too. So many memories, you know?"

"A lot of amazing memories," Niall nods. 

"Anyway," Harry continues, "I wish I could take all of the credit, but it was Mitch who gave me the final kick in the arse that I needed. He might be a man of few words, but he really makes them count."

"Mitch? Really?" Niall is definitely surprised. He likes Mitch a lot, but Harry is right. Mitch doesn't speak all that much, and Niall has barely gotten a few sentences out of him since they met. "What did he say?"

"His exact words were: 'don't lose him twice, Harry. I know you love him, so fix it already before he moves on' and that's what made me realize that I had to do something. I knew you had gone out with a few people, and - "

"Jealous, were ya?" Niall smirks as he tickles Harry's stomach. 

"Incredibly," Harry admits. "Mitch was right, though. I thought about what would happen if you fell in love with someone else, and I nearly worked myself into a blind panic over it."

Niall frowns as he cups Harry's cheek. "Yeah, I went out a few times, met a few girls, friends of friends, for the most part. They were sweet, but they were a constant reminder that I could never love anyone the way I love you," he says, rubbing his thumb across Harry's jaw. "You were the only one I wanted to be with."

Harry smiles as he leans into Niall's touch. "I could never love anyone the way I love you either, but I really needed that reality check. I think somewhere in the back of my mind I just assumed we'd get our shit together one day and it would all sort itself out. It honestly hadn't occurred to me that you might find someone else, which was a terrifying thought. But here we are," he adds happily. 

"Here we are," Niall agrees as he leans forward and brushes his lips against Harry's. "All properly sorted and everything."

"Well," Harry pauses as he tugs on the hem of Niall's jumper and starts pushing it up, "there is still one very serious matter we have to deal with." 

"Oh?" Niall raises his arms and lets Harry slip it off. "And what's that?"

"You are still entirely overdressed," Harry giggles as he reaches for the zip on Niall's trousers.

"Wait," Niall falters as he covers Harry's hands with his own. "I hope it won't ruin the mood, but - "

"No need to explain," Harry says as he pulls his hands away. "I didn't mean to pressure you. We can just cuddle instead if you prefer."

"No, sweetheart, it's not that, trust me," Niall grins as he reaches for Harry's hand. " I was just thinking of having a quick shower first if you don't mind? I probably smell like beer and Doritos," he winces. 

Harry laughs at that, bright and beautiful. "Not at all, baby. I stopped at my place on the way here and I had a shower too, actually. I would have just used yours, but I wanted to pick up a few of my things also. I hope that's okay. I realize that I'm basically making myself right at home here, but I - "

Niall cuts him off with a deep, lingering kiss that tastes minty-fresh, like the remnants of Harry's toothpaste. "You _are_ home," he says sweetly, before getting up from the bed and stripping off his trousers. Harry is watching him intently, so Niall makes sure to give him a proper show. When he gets to his underwear, he hooks his thumbs under the elastic and drags them down his legs inch by inch before stepping out of them.

"God, you're so gorgeous," Harry says as he reaches out to rake his nails through Niall's chest hair. "Now, hurry up before I start without you."

Niall bends down to kiss Harry again, a little harder this time. "Don't you dare; I'll be back in like five minutes, tops."

*

True to his word, Niall returns a few minutes later, still gloriously naked and slightly damp from the shower. 

Harry is busy typing something on his phone, but it's immediately forgotten when he catches sight of Niall. "Hi, boyfriend," he smiles, tossing his phone aside as he takes in every beautiful bare inch of Niall's body. 

Niall preens under Harry's gaze as he climbs back onto the bed, right on top of Harry and into his open arms. "Hi, lover," he says before leaning in for a kiss. 

It's gentle at first, just a soft exploration of each other's mouths as Harry takes hold of Niall's face and drags his fingertips against the scruff on Niall's jaw.

"Wanna get my mouth on you," Niall whispers between kisses as he rocks their hips together. They're both hard already and Niall can feel how damp the front of Harry's briefs are. 

That sets off a chain reaction as Harry quickly reverses their positions. "Fuck, baby," he pants while straddling Niall's hips and licking into his mouth. 

Niall lets out a muffled whine as he opens up for Harry and reaches down between them to rub Harry's cock through his briefs. He can feel it leaking steadily against his fingers and Niall desperately wants a taste. 

In seconds, Harry is a writhing, incoherent mess, chest heaving as he pulls back and nips sharply at Niall's jaw. "Niall," he pants, blunt nails digging into Niall's skin, "I _need_ you to fuck me."

His voice sounds raw, like he's been screaming Niall's name for hours even though they've only just gotten started. 

"Patience, babe. I'm going to take good care of you," Niall promises as he shifts Harry from his lap, and eases him onto the bed. Lay back for me," he instructs while tugging Harry's briefs down and slipping them off. Now that Harry is finally naked, Niall pushes his knees apart and leans in to press hot, open-mouthed kisses against the silky skin of Harry's inner thighs. 

Harry whimpers at the contact while reaching down to fist his hands in Niall's hair. As Niall kisses his way further up, Harry tightens his grip and his whimpers evolve into broken moans.

"Keep making those pretty sounds for me," Niall urges as he looks up at Harry from between his knees. These are some of the moments Niall loves best about being with Harry. Not the sex itself, (which is fantastic enough) but the way Harry experiences pleasure, loud and uninhibited.

Once he has Harry comfortably positioned, Niall dips down to briefly kiss the tip of Harry's cock before wrapping his fingers around the base and sucking him down slowly. He breathes through it, making sure to relax his throat as much as possible as he enjoys the weight of Harry's cock in his mouth. It glides easily against his tongue, hot and wet as he builds up a steady rhythm. 

He knows his voice is going to be completely wrecked tomorrow, but thankfully Niall isn't due back in the studio for a while. When he and Harry dated the first time around, oral sex was always a rare occurrence when they were touring, often limited to when they had at least a solid forty-eight hours of downtime before their next performance. Literal cock-blocking, but they always made up for it during their breaks. 

Before he met Harry, Niall had never really given much thought to going down on a guy. Sex in general (with either gender) piqued his interest, of course, but the idea of giving a blow job seemed intimidating. Like it might require a lot more coordination than Niall was capable of. Handjobs seemed easy enough, but it wasn't until the first time that Niall saw Harry naked that he realized how much he wanted to drop to his knees and worship Harry's cock. It was quite a revelation for his sixteen-year-old self who, up until then, had never even kissed a boy. 

"Holy fuck, baby… your _mouth_ ," Harry groans as he digs his heels into Niall's back. 

That only encourages Niall to suck even harder while he drags his tongue against the sensitive underside of Harry's cock. Switching gears slightly, he pulls off just long enough to swirl his tongue around the head and then slides his mouth back down with renewed suction. His cheeks are starting to vibrate from the motion, and Niall can tell that Harry is already getting close. He gets lost in the feeling of Harry's cock in his mouth, barely registering how Harry's moaning above him and tugging almost painfully at his hair.

"Niall… _Niall_... gonna come," Harry warns, but Niall just tightens his grip to help increase the friction.

Harry comes a moment later, hot and bitter on Niall's tongue as he greedily swallows it all down. In the seconds that follow, he continues to suck Harry through the aftershocks while gently rubbing his trembling thighs. He pulls off after a minute or so, and then kisses his way up Harry's stomach before straddling Harry's waist and smiling down at him.

"How was that?" Niall asks as he sweeps the hair back from Harry's forehead. Harry is always beautiful, but he's especially breathtaking with his flushed cheeks and messy curls. 

"That," Harry gasps as he collapses back against the pillows, "was _amazing_."

Niall leans down and kisses him softly. "Glad I haven't lost my touch."

"No, you certainly haven't," Harry praises as he rubs Niall's cheek gently. "Want to show me what else you're still good at?" 

In response, Niall turns his face and presses a soft kiss against Harry's palm before getting up from the bed and rifling through his nightstand. He quickly retrieves a condom and his bottle of lube before tossing both onto the bed and lying back down.

"Want you on top, babe," he tells Harry while tearing the condom open and quickly rolling it on.

"Oh, fuck _yes_ ," Harry agrees as he picks up the lube and starts applying a generous amount to Niall's cock. He then slicks up his own fingers before sitting up and reaching around to ease one into himself. "I probably could have gotten a head start on this before you got home, but I didn't want to be too presumptuous," Harry laughs as he stretches himself carefully.

"I'm glad you didn't because I'm rather enjoying the view," Niall winks as he leans over and kisses Harry's hip. It's one of the few places on Harry's body that's free of tattoos, so Niall lavishes it with extra attention as he sucks a deep red mark into Harry's skin. 

"Okay, I'm ready," Harry says a moment later as he slips his fingers out of himself and straddles Niall's waist. It takes a minute for him to get lined up and then he carefully sinks down onto Niall's cock. "Oh, _fuck_ ," he hisses before crushing their mouths together and kissing Niall deeply. It's not slow or gentle this time, but rough and bruising as the stubble on Niall's cheeks scrapes at Harry's tender skin. 

"Jesus, baby, you feel so good," Niall moans as he arches his hips. Harry is tight, which creates intense friction as Niall thrusts up into him. He can already feel the searing heat building within him which means he's not going to last particularly long. Harry probably won't either, since he usually has a pretty short refractory period. 

"Harder," Harry begs as he lifts himself up and then grinds back down onto Niall's cock with unyielding force.

Niall quickly obeys the command, while sliding his hands up the tanned planes of Harry's chest and grazing his thumbs over Harry's nipples. They've always been sensitive, and Niall needs to get his mouth on them. It's a bit of a stretch, but he manages to lean up far enough so that he can drag his tongue over Harry's right nipple before biting down gently.

 _"Niall,"_ Harry cries out as Niall soothes the sting with his tongue. There are tiny red welts already starting to bloom against Harry's skin, so Niall switches sides and alternates between soft licks and gentle suction. 

"So close," Harry whimpers as he tilts Niall's face up and brushes their lips together. He's too far gone to coordinate a proper kiss, so it's more like an exchange of breath as Niall snaps his hips up again. 

"You're so fucking beautiful," Niall whispers against Harry's mouth while reaching between them and stroking Harry's cock. It only takes a few firm tugs, and then Harry is coming all over Niall's stomach in thick pulses. 

"Keep going," Harry insists as Niall rubs his softening cock. "Want you to come inside me… wanna _feel_ it, baby."

"Hold on, love," Niall cautions as he temporarily pulls out. It takes a bit of maneuvering, but he manages to successfully reverse their positions before spreading Harry's thighs and slipping his cock back into him. Once he's got Harry flat on his back, Niall lifts Harry's thighs and fucks into him with hard, frantic thrusts. He comes a few seconds later, squeezing his eyes shut as tiny particles of white-hot light shimmer behind his eyelids.

Harry kisses him through it, soft and slow as he runs his fingers through Niall's hair and scratches gently at his scalp.

"Wow," Niall pants as he eases himself back out of Harry and moves to lie next to him on the bed. He's sweaty and uncomfortably sticky but he's never been happier. "That was fucking incredible." 

"Merry Christmas, baby," Harry smiles as he rolls onto his stomach and leans over to kiss Niall softly. It's just a quick peck before pulling back and resting his chin on Niall's chest.

"Oh my God, that reminds me!" Niall says as he gently slides out from beneath Harry and crawls out of bed. His legs are shaking a bit, but he's excited to give Harry his Christmas present. He really needs another shower, but he ducks into his bathroom for a quick clean-up before retrieving Harry's gift from the closet. 

"Merry Christmas, _boyfriend_ ," Niall grins as he hands Harry the package. "It's nothing fancy, but it's something I thought you might like to have. Made it myself, even."

Niall wishes he had more than just a homemade album to give Harry, especially after realizing what all Harry has done for him. He's extremely proud of how it turned out though, and he's excited to finally see Harry's reaction. 

"You made it?" Harry gives him a delighted smile. "I love it already, he says as he tears off the wrapping paper. "Niall…" he chokes out as he opens the album and sees the first picture. It's one that Maura had taken of them when they were barely sixteen and Harry visited Niall in Mullingar. They were cuddled up on the couch watching a movie together and she couldn't resist capturing the moment.

Niall had been nervous at the time since she knew all about his crush on Harry. He constantly worried that she might say something embarrassing, but she just snapped the picture before heading upstairs to bed. He did catch the knowing look she gave him, and it made Niall's entire body flush hotly. 

The picture is one of Niall's favorites because that first holiday together is when he realized he was already falling for Harry. They were watching _Serendipity_ and discussing their mutual crushes on Kate Beckinsale, when Harry sat up suddenly and took Niall's hands into his.

 _"I kind of have a crush on someone else now, though,"_ he admitted. 

_"Oh really?"_ Niall said, licking his lips nervously. _"Anyone I know?"_

 _"Yes,"_ Harry nodded while squeezing Niall's hand. "A boy. He's charming and beautiful, and I fancy him a lot."

 _"He's a very lucky boy then,"_ Niall blushed, his voice barely above a whisper even though the TV was on and they were the only ones downstairs.

 _"Do you think he might let me kiss him if I asked nicely?"_ Harry asked as he moved a fraction closer.

 _"He definitely would,"_ Niall said, just before Harry cupped his jaw and pressed his lips against Niall's.

They didn't get together officially until a few years later, but that weekend was definitely the start of something special between them. The picture Maura had taken of them was just minutes before their kiss, before their lives changed forever. 

That's why Niall wanted it to be the first one in the album. Even though they were still broken up when he created it, he didn't want to leave out any of their most important memories together. 

Back in the present, Harry has just flipped to the end of the album, which is one of Niall's favorite group shots from their final tour. He vaguely remembers Lou taking it because she popped into the room to say good night, and then quickly snapped the photo when they weren't paying attention. She texted it to them after the tour ended, with a heartfelt message about how much she would miss them all. 

In the photo, Liam is lying on his stomach, stretched diagonally across the bed with Harry half on top of him, and using his bum as a pillow. Niall is cuddled against Harry's chest, tucked under his chin as they read a magazine together, and next to them, Louis is playing around on his phone. He's lying nearly parallel to them, but he's got his body turned slightly so that his legs are draped over Niall's thighs. 

They all look so happy and comfortable even though there's hardly an ounce of extra room between them. From the angle the picture was taken, it was hard to tell where one of them ended and the other began. Niall loves it for that exact reason because it's such an accurate representation of their friendship. Those were some of the moments that Niall always loved the most - just existing in each other's space without feeling like they had to entertain each other. Hanging out together could often be such a quiet comfort, and Niall misses it every single day. 

"Thank you _so_ much, baby. This is absolutely the best present I've ever gotten," Harry says finally as he looks up at Niall with shining eyes. "I'm pretty sure I haven't even seen half of these photos, but I love them. And I love _you_ ," he adds before climbing onto Niall's lap and kissing him like he might never stop. 

"I love you too," Niall gasps as Harry straddles one of his thighs and starts grinding against him. He's already hard again, which makes Niall's own dick take an immediate interest. He hadn't been expecting round three to happen this quickly, but he certainly isn't complaining. 

"Wanna make you come again," Harry whines as he reaches down between them. "You're so beautiful like this, baby, just for me," he says as he wraps his long fingers around Niall's cock. With every passing moment, he increases the speed and pressure of his hand as he rocks himself against Niall's thigh. 

"Fuck," Niall growls while sliding a hand around the back of Harry's neck and kissing him hard. Their mouths connect roughly as Harry's whimpers vaporize against Niall's lips. 

Harry comes first, quick and messy this time as Niall keeps kissing him. Niall's own release hits him just seconds later as he spills into Harry's hand and collapses against him. "Jesus fucking Christ," he pants against Harry's open mouth. "That was - "

"Fucking incredible," Harry says as he brings his hand up and slowly licks his fingers clean.

"You are seriously going to be the death of me," Niall groans as he shoves Harry's hand away and kisses him deeply. There's something inexplicably erotic about being able to taste himself on Harry's tongue that causes Niall's brain to short-circuit.

"This has been the most amazing Christmas ever," Harry says when he pulls back and leans his forehead against Niall's. "Promise it won't all be a dream when we wake up?"

"I promise," Niall tells him, before tilting his head and kissing Harry again. It's just a gentle brush of their lips, but Niall still feels it all the way down to his toes. "I think I need another shower though," he laughs while gesturing down to the sticky mess between them. 

"Fancy having one with me?"

Harry sits up and takes Niall's hand into his own. "See, I told you my boyfriend is a genius," he says as he hauls Niall up and drags him to the bathroom. 

*

They're finally back in bed after their shower, clean and warm under Niall's comforter. The lights are off now, but Niall can still make out the shape of Harry's face in the dark as he reaches out and sweeps his thumb over his cheek.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Harry asks as he leans forward and peppers Niall's face with kisses.

"I was just thinking about us," Niall says as he wraps his arms around Harry's shoulders and pulls him snug against his chest. "Missed my little spoon," he adds as he kisses the top of Harry's head. His hair is damp, but smells delicious, like Niall's coconut shampoo.

"I really missed being your little spoon," Harry hums happily as he tilts his face up and kisses Niall again. 

"There's something I want to ask you, but I don't want you to feel pressured into it, okay?" Niall says a moment later. "It's just something I've been thinking about."

"What is it?" Harry asks as he feels around for Niall's hand and squeezes it gently. 

"I'm going back to Ireland on the fifth, just for a week," Niall starts. "I was wondering if maybe you'd like to come with me? Seriously, no pressure though. If it's too soon and you don't want - "

"I'd love to," Harry cuts Niall off and laces their fingers together. "I haven't seen your family in ages and I'd love to go with you. In fact, how about we make a proper trip of it? If you don't have anything planned for after, I mean. I hadn't actually decided when I was going to go back home yet, but maybe after we leave Ireland, we can visit my family? I know they would really love to see you," Harry finishes in a breathless rush.

"Well you do owe me a proper holiday," Niall teases. "But seriously, that sounds amazing."

"Thank you," Harry says as he leans forward and kisses Niall slowly. 

It's sweet and soft and warms Niall all over as he kisses Harry back and wraps him up in a tight hug. "Bedtime?" he asks as he hears Harry stifling a yawn. 

"Yeah," Harry agrees before kissing Niall once more and then turning so he's got his back pressed up against Niall's chest. "Good night, my love."

"Good night, darling," Niall says as he brushes his lips against Harry's neck and wraps his arms tightly around him.

~*~

**Christmas Day**

The following morning, Niall wakes up to an empty bed. 

Harry's side already feels cool to the touch, but the scent of Niall's favorite Italian roast coffee permeates the air. That means his angel of a boyfriend must be downstairs playing barista, which has Niall grinning to himself as he gets up.

A quick glance at his phone confirms that it's barely eight am, which is an inhumane hour to be awake in Niall's opinion. Not if he doesn't strictly have to be. They could still be cuddling together if Harry wasn't such an early bird. He's probably already gone for a run, done some yoga, and is now brewing coffee to lure Niall out of bed.

Niall quickly pulls on a pair of sweatpants before dipping into the bathroom for his robe. Normally it's hanging on a hook behind the door, but it's not there this time. He feels a sudden warmth spread through him despite the chill in the air because he knows Harry is probably wearing it. Niall loves that they've fallen right back into such an easy rhythm with each other, almost as if no time has passed at all. 

As he brushes his teeth, Niall admires the trail of love bites up his neck, which he has no intention of hiding. He could easily get away with wearing a turtleneck for a few days, but he wants to display them proudly. In the past, he had to be a lot more discreet about these things to avoid unnecessary press, but Niall doesn't have to worry about that now. 

Not like he had to do in the band days, where his every single move was calculated in the most intrusive ways. He gets it, of course. Especially when they were younger and had a certain squeaky-clean image to uphold. 

It was a bit ironic, really. They were sex symbols who weren't supposed to reveal the fact that they were sexually active. There was one memorable occasion when they had to use tattoo coverup on Harry because Niall had gone a bit overboard with the hickies just before they started filming the _Kiss You_ video. Oops. Niall is still proud of that, even though no one ever found out that he's the one who did it.

They had a good laugh about it later, though when Harry was washing all of the makeup off. He had called Niall a vampire, affectionately of course, and then spent the evening marking Niall up in places that no one else would ever see. 

Once he's done brushing his teeth, Niall grabs his phone and then takes a myriad of bathroom selfies with his neck tilted at just the right angle. He ignores the fact that he has literal sex hair because it actually enhances the look he's going for. 

When he finally captures the perfect picture, he opens twitter and starts composing a new tweet. It's reckless, he realizes, but he wants the world to know how happy he is. Plus, it's not like he plans on mentioning Harry by name, so what's it really going to hurt? 

He's allowed to have a personal life, and he's allowed to be cryptic about it. It will likely annoy some of the fans, but he tries not to think too much about that part. He can't tell the world that he and Harry are together, (not yet, anyway) but he wants people to know there's someone special in his life now. Or back in his life, as the case may be. 

_Merry Christmas, lovers !_ he quickly types out and attaches the picture before he loses his nerve. _I hope everyone is enjoying their holiday as much as I am !_ he adds, along with a string of red and green heart emojis, a Christmas tree, and a kiss emoji. He offers no further explanation or context than that as he sends the tweet and closes the app.

Less than a minute later, his phone vibrates with a text from Louis: 

_**hahahaha nice lovebites mate. Classy!** _

Niall snickers at that as he pulls on his favorite hoodie, but he doesn't bother replying. Louis will be coming over soon anyway, and Niall really doesn't want to start overthinking his tweet. 

As he heads downstairs, he can hear Harry singing along with Michael Bublé which means he's probably listening to Niall's Christmas playlist. 

Harry has his back to him when Niall enters the kitchen, but predictably, he's wearing Niall's robe. 

"Good morning, beautiful," Niall greets him as he slides up behind Harry and kisses the back of his neck. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, baby," Harry replies as he turns around and wraps his arms around Niall. "Did I wake you?" He murmurs against Niall's neck before tilting his face up for a kiss. 

"No, but the coffee did," Niall laughs before leaning in to brush his lips against Harry's. "Smells delicious, though." 

"It is," Harry nods as he presses Niall against the counter and drops to his knees, "but I can think of something that I'd much rather taste," he says as he spreads Niall's thighs and drags his sweatpants down in one swift motion. 

"Sweet _Jesus_ ," Niall inhales sharply as his bum hits the cold marble. "Isn't Liam upstairs?"

Harry nods again as he lavishes Niall's stomach with soft kisses. "He's still sound asleep, I reckon. Which means you'll have to be quiet if we don't want to wake him," he says, just before leaning forward and taking Niall's cock into his mouth all in one go. It's not even hard yet, but that changes in a matter of seconds as Harry takes him deep.

"Oh… _fuck_ ," Niall whimpers as he reaches down to rub the back of Harry's head. His mouth is so incredibly perfect and warm as he sucks Niall slowly. The hardwood floors can't be comfortable on his knees, but Harry doesn't seem to mind a bit as he hums around Niall's cock and holds onto his thighs for leverage. 

"Didn't get to do this last night," Harry explains as he briefly pulls off before guiding Niall's cock back into his mouth and sucking him down inch by inch.

"Not complaining," Niall laughs shakily as he cards his fingers through Harry's soft curls. "Fuck… feels _so_ good," he praises, while tugging gently. "Not gonna last, though," he warns since he can already feel his stomach starting to tighten. Plus, the shock of it all has Niall quickly on edge, along with the thrill of knowing they could be caught at any moment. 

Harry remains quiet, but he digs his nails into Niall's thighs and slows down his pace until he's just got the head of Niall's cock in his mouth. He sucks on it slowly, licking at the underside and humming softly as he takes Niall apart. 

Niall has to fight back the urge to thrust his hips because he doesn't want Harry's throat to feel as raw as his own does.

Harry always seems to know just what Niall needs though. "Fuck my mouth," he orders a moment later when he pulls off again. "C'mon," he pleads as he looks up at Niall with glassy eyes. "I wanna _feel_ it."

"Jesus," Niall breathes out as he grips Harry's hair and thrusts into his open mouth. Harry whimpers at that as Niall snaps his hips and starts pumping steadily. "Gonna be the death of me, I swear."

In response, Harry hollows his cheeks and sucks even harder until the tip of Niall's cock is nudging at the back of his throat. Unlike Niall, Harry has zero issues with his gag reflex so he just takes every inch and rubs Niall's hips encouragingly. 

_"Harry,"_ Niall groans as he feels the orgasm building within him. It starts in the pit of his stomach, then spreads up from the base of his spine until it crashes over him. Within seconds, he's coming hard and cradling Harry's face in his hands as Harry sucks him through it.

Harry pulls off Niall's cock once it starts to soften, and then he tucks him back into his sweatpants.

" _Christ_ ," Niall whimpers as he tugs Harry back up and leans their foreheads together. "That was…" he trails off because he can't seem to get enough air into his lungs.

"Brilliant? Phenomenal? Mind-blowing, even?" Harry supplies as he tilts Niall's head up and kisses him slowly.

"All of the above," Niall says as he nudges Harry's nose with his own and kisses him back. Harry tastes a bit like coffee, but a lot like _Niall_ and it's an intoxicating combination. "My turn," he continues as he reaches between them and starts untying his robe that Harry is wearing.

"Nope," Harry protests as he swats Niall's hand away. "That was just for you, baby. We'll have plenty of time for that later."

"Well at least let me make myself useful," Niall offers as he slides his arms around Harry's neck. "Can I help with anything?" 

Harry shakes his head and reaches for a mug of coffee on the counter which he hands to Niall. "Just keep me company, babe. I've got it all under control."

"Yes sir," Niall laughs as he accepts the mug and then takes a seat at his kitchen table. It's covered with an assortment of grocery bags so Harry must have gone out earlier.

"Busy morning?" Niall asks as Harry reaches for one of the bags and pulls out an array of fresh vegetables. 

"Yep," Harry nods as he starts washing some spinach leaves. "I went down to the Farmer's Market about an hour ago. I wasn't sure if it would be open today, but there were surprisingly a lot of vendors out."

"You should have woken me up, I would have gone with you," Niall murmurs as he gets up from the table and wraps his arms around Harry from behind.

"I didn't mind," Harry says as he leans back against Niall. "Besides, you hate being woken up, and I wasn't even gone that long."

"You know me so well," Niall laughs as he kisses the back of Harry's neck. 

"Stop distracting me," Harry giggles as he lays the spinach out on a dish towel and starts rinsing some mushrooms. 

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Niall grins against Harry's skin and reaches down to squeeze his hips through the robe. 

"It is if you actually want to eat breakfast," Harry laughs as he sets the mushrooms down and turns around in Niall's arms. "I was planning on making omelettes if that's okay? I've got veggies, cheese, and bacon so there's a bit of something for everyone."

"Sounds perfect," Niall says as he kisses Harry's cheek. 

Suddenly, they hear footsteps on the staircase as Liam's sleepy face pops into view. "I might be a little in love with you, Harry," he says as he enters the kitchen. "I'm _starving_."

"Watch it, Payno," Niall teases as he reaches for Liam and pulls him into a hug. "Merry Christmas!"

Harry ends up squashed between them, so Liam wraps his arms around them both and hugs them back. "Merry Christmas, babes." 

"Merry Christmas, Li," Harry replies as he leans in to kiss Liam's cheek. "What do you want in your omelette?" 

"Literally anything," Liam says. "I'm not picky, but spinach and cheese would be ace if it's not too much trouble."

"No trouble at all," Harry smiles as he starts patting the mushrooms dry.

"Please say there's some coffee left?" Liam asks hopefully.

"Already on it," Niall says as he hands Liam a mug that he's just finished pouring for him.

"Bless you," Liam sighs happily as he takes a grateful sip. "By the way, you created quite a buzz with that last tweet. The fans are going mad," he laughs.

Oh shit. Niall had completely forgotten about that already. He doesn't regret posting it, though. If the internet goes up in flames over a few love bites, Niall couldn't care less, honestly. 

"What tweet?" Harry asks as he starts cracking eggs into a bowl. 

"Oh," Niall blushes as he digs his phone out of his pocket and hands it to Harry. "I um, well… see for yourself. I hope you don't mind," he rambles on, "I suppose I should have asked you first, but - "

Harry sets the eggs aside and squeezes Niall's hands. "I'm sure it's fine, whatever it is," he says as he opens twitter. It takes him a minute to find the tweet, but when he does, his mouth falls open in shock. "Guess I got a bit carried away, huh?" 

"You don't mind that I posted it? I know it's a bit too late to be asking you now, but I can still delete it if you want me to," Niall tells him as he steps forward and wraps his arms around Harry. 

"Of course not," Harry shakes his head as he tilts Niall's face up. "Want me to post a matching one? You left some impressive marks on me too, you know," he winks.

"I'm pretty sure it would take less than ten seconds for people to figure out what we did there," Niall laughs. 

"And?" Harry challenges. "I know we haven't actually discussed it yet, but what do you think about people knowing? We don't necessarily have to admit to anything, but we don't have to hide anymore either. Let people think whatever the fuck they want," Harry says before pressing his mouth against Niall's and kissing him sweetly.

"Seriously?" Niall asks as he pulls back and meets Harry's eyes. "You would be okay with that? This is big, H. I don't think there's enough damage control we could do if we suddenly changed our minds."

"There would be no _damage_ to control," Harry counters. "I meant what I said in Santa Monica; I'm tired of hiding, Niall. But what about you? Would you be okay with it?"

"Harry," Niall says as he takes Harry's face between his palms. "I love you, and I don't give a single fuck who knows it, darling. Not anymore. Yeah, it might not be something either of us were open about in the past, but things are different now. And I'm sorry if I seemed hesitant, I just wanted to make sure you're ready for this. That _we're_ ready for this," he amends. 

"I think I am," Harry smiles before kissing Niall again. "Besides, it's probably better this way. Sharing things little by little, not censoring ourselves as much, like a gradual progression. It would probably be a lot less shocking too."

"Haz," Niall laughs as he winds his arms around Harry's neck "I'm pretty sure that no one would be all that shocked, honestly."

Liam snorts at that. "Seriously. You two have never been subtle, like literally ever." 

Harry snaps at Liam's bum with a wet dish towel. "You shush," he scolds before turning his attention back to Niall. "I just meant that we don't have to make any official announcements, that's all. We'll just share what we want, and let the media work it out for themselves. You know they will anyway, so we might as well have control over the content at least."

"Good point," Niall grins as he rubs Harry's shoulders. "I'm so tired of worrying about everything I say, worried that I might fuck up somehow, and I'm tired of triple-checking every photo or video before I post it just to be sure there's nothing incriminating in the background. But most of all," Niall pauses as he moves his hands up and rubs Harry's jaw, "I'm tired of not being able to show the world how in love with you I am." 

"Aww, baby," Harry frowns as he leans into Niall's touch, "I hate that too, honestly. All of it. I've just gotten so good at hiding, you know? Hiding in plain sight, if that makes sense. I never reveal anything too personal, but I don't lie about who I am either. I think most people have worked it out by now though, and they still love me for it. And if they don't, that's their problem, not mine."

"Damn right," Niall agrees. "Not everyone is going to be accepting of who we are, but to hell with them, then." 

"Exactly," Harry says. "I've obviously not censored myself much this year, and it's been a liberating experience. It'd be kind of nice to keep that up and just stop worrying about every tiny detail. We call the shots, _we_ decide what we want to share about ourselves, and we'll deal with the rest as it comes, okay?" he finishes before pulling Niall forward and kissing him again.

"Okay, petal," Niall says as he pulls back and leans his forehead against Harry's.

The sudden click of a camera shocks them apart a moment later as they look up to see Liam holding his phone and grinning at them. "Sorry, I couldn't resist," he says as he opens the photo app and hands the phone over. 

The picture is beautiful. Niall and Harry are smiling at each other while the sunlight filtering in through Niall's kitchen window creates a dappled effect on their skin.

"We should post it," they say at the exact same time before laughing and high-fiving each other.

"How about we include a group shot of us too," Niall suggests as he wraps an arm around Liam and pulls him close.

"Great idea," Harry agrees while sliding in between Liam and Niall and angling the camera towards them. "Say cheese!"

"Cheese!" they echo as Harry takes the picture. It turns out perfectly; Niall has his head pressed close to Harry's, and Liam's got his chin resting on Harry's other shoulder. 

"Aw, we're so cute," Harry says as he texts the pictures to himself and then uploads them to his twitter. "Merry Christmas, from our hearts to yours. Treat people with kindness," he reads aloud as he publishes the tweet.

"Wow, we really did that," Niall laughs. "You know they're definitely going to put it all together now, after what I posted earlier."

"Yeah, probably," Harry agrees. "How are you feeling about it?" he asks as he pulls Niall into his arms and rubs his back.

"Relieved, honestly," Niall admits as he presses a kiss against Harry's neck. "You?"

"Hungry," Harry laughs as he pulls back and nuzzles Niall's cheek. "Especially after the workout we got last night," he whispers. 

"How about those omelettes then?" Niall flushes bright pink as he reaches for the forgotten bowl of eggs and hands it to Harry.

"I'll start frying up the bacon," Liam offers while Niall puts on another pot of coffee to brew.

*

"Merry Christmas, you chaotic fuckers," Louis greets them as he enters the kitchen a few minutes later. "Had fun breaking the internet, I see," he jokes as he hops up onto Niall's counter. 

"It's what we do best," Liam laughs as he offers Louis a piece of bacon. "Merry Christmas, Tommo. Extra crispy, just for you."

"Thanks, love," Louis smiles as he takes a bite and then feeds Liam the other half.

"How bad is the damage?" Harry asks seriously. "The internet, I mean. Is it actually broken, or just mildly fractured?"

"Twitter crashed at least twice that I know of since you made that post," Louis answers. "So you tell me."

"Don't do it," Niall warns just as he catches Harry reaching for his phone. "You know you'll just make yourself sad if you see any negative comments."

"I just want to take a peek," Harry scowls as Niall grabs the phone from his hands and moves it to the other side of the kitchen.

"How about we ignore social media for a while and have a nice breakfast together, yeah? It's Christmas," Niall says as he wraps his arms around Harry's neck and kisses him softly. 

"You're right," Harry smiles when they pull apart. "I don't know what I was thinking. I should know better," he laughs. 

"You just like seeing all the happy comments, that's all," Niall murmurs before kissing Harry again. "Which is understandable; I like seeing them too. They're just not _always_ positive, is the thing."

"Can't please everyone," Harry nods.

"And it's too exhausting to try," Liam adds. 

"Exactly," Louis agrees. "Sometimes the comments are lovely, but then there's always those few that stick in your mind, y'know?"

"Okay, okay," Harry holds his hands up in mock defense. "No reading comments, I promise. "I'm going to start on the omelettes now since everything else is mostly ready."

"Great idea, Harold," Louis teases. "You do all the work, and I'll just sit here and look pretty."

"So what you usually do then?" Liam laughs as he reaches over and pokes Louis in the side.

"I think you two have been spending too much time together," Harry says while pointing his spatula at them. "There aren't any new developments we need to know about, are there? Anything you two want to share with the class?" 

"No," Liam sticks his tongue out at Harry before turning his attention back to the stove. 

"Don't be jealous, love; I'd never cheat on my secret fake boyfriend," Louis winks at Harry.

"Oh Jesus," Niall groans as he pours himself another cup of coffee. "It's way too early for your twisted humor, Tommo."

"Just for that," Harry smirks at Louis, "I'm putting avocado in your omelette."

*

After breakfast, they spend the next few hours lounging around Niall's living room while watching movies, opening the gifts they brought for each other, and taking turns making silly posts on social media. It's been years since they've spent this much time together as a group and Niall has really missed it.

"Niall!" Harry laughs when he sees that he's been tagged in one of Niall's recent Instagram stories. It's a cute video of Harry that Niall had taken earlier when Harry fell asleep with his head in Niall's lap. They had just started watching _Home Alone_ and Harry passed out almost instantly. 

_Look what Santa brought me for Christmas ! Think I'll keep him forever xx_ Niall had captioned it with, along with several heart-eye emojis.

"Sorry," Niall winces. "Was that too much?"

"Which part? Keeping me forever? I rather liked that part," Harry giggles as he leans in to kiss Niall softly. 

"No, not that," Niall rolls his eyes fondly, "the fact that I posted it in general. You just looked so cute and I was feeling a bit impulsive, I guess."

"No more hiding, right?" Harry asks seriously. 

"No more hiding," Niall agrees and drags Harry into another kiss.

"Bloody fucking hell," Louis groans as he tosses a pillow at them. "Is this how it's going to be when we're back on tour again? You two snogging every five seconds?"

"When we're _what_ now?" Niall asks, eyes wide. "Far as I know, that's not a current issue, is it?"

"Um," Liam clears his throat loudly, and Niall can feel Harry shifting next to him.

"Fuck," Louis laughs as he realizes his mistake. 

"I guess we're doing this now, then," Harry glares at Louis.

"Someone start talking," Niall demands as he sits up and regards them expectantly.

"So," Harry starts as he slides onto Niall's lap. "We have a surprise for you. This wasn't exactly how we planned on bringing it up, but I guess now is as good a time as any."

"Please just tell me what's going on," Niall says as he looks back and forth between them all. 

"We're ready to get the band back together," Harry announces. "Not right away though, so there's no pressure. It's just something we discussed the other day, but only if everyone's on board, of course."

"Seriously?" Niall says, obviously stunned. "And where was I during this grand meeting of the minds?"

"I think you were out with Shawn, maybe?" Louis shrugs.

"I'm sorry we discussed it behind your back," Liam tells Niall. We didn't plan it that way, I promise. We were helping Harry figure out some of the details for the Secret Santa project and then we got to talking about the band. I hope you're not mad," he finishes.

"Of course I'm not, are you kidding me?" Niall gushes. "Yeah, I wish I could have been there, but this is amazing news! So… wow… this is for real?" 

"We've already spoken to Sandy, Josh, and Dan," Louis interjects. "They will have to rearrange a few things when we get everything worked out, but they're proper chuffed." 

"And you?" Niall asks as he looks up and meets Harry's eyes. "I know you're already working on your second album, so you want to go back to the band instead?"

"Not instead, no," Harry shakes his head. "There's room in my life for both. The album isn't even close to being done yet anyway," he laughs. 

"Yeah, mine either," Niall admits. "I've got a few songs written so far, but that's about it."

"Besides," Harry continues, "it's not like we're going to do this immediately. It's going to require a lot of planning and coordination, but I think we can make it work. Plus, we can schedule some studio time when it's convenient for us, and maybe work on some new songs too."

"That's a great idea," Niall agrees. "We also have an entire album we never toured for, so we'll have plenty of songs to fill out the setlist."

"Exactly," Harry nods. "We also have songs that never made it onto any of the other albums that we could revisit."

"Good point," Nial nods. "So what would we call the tour?" 

"Back On The Road Again," Louis snickers. 

"One Direction: Reconnection!" Harry suggests, complete with jazz hands.

Niall shakes his head at them. "We'll have to work on that," he laughs.

"The Infinity Tour," Liam says quietly. 

"Wow, I love that," Harry beams. "Did you just come up with it?"

"Thanks," Liam blushes. "No, it's something I had been thinking about for a while actually, back when we originally planned to tour for the album."

"I think it's perfect," Niall grins at him.

Louis reaches over and ruffles Liam's hair. "That's our Payno. Always did have the best ideas."

*

Three hours and several phone calls later, they officially have the approval to post the reunion announcement. They've even taken a group photo over by Niall's Christmas tree to include with it.

"Just don't mention any specific dates, and keep it vague for now," Harry says as Niall is typing out the post on Instagram. He's logged into the band's account so he can easily share the message on twitter and Facebook too. 

"You do it," Niall laughs as he shoves his phone at Harry. "My hands are shaking like mad. I can't believe this is happening."

"Believe it, lad," Louis smiles. "Everything works out when it's meant to, yeah?" he adds, and Niall has a feeling he's not just talking about the band.

"Yeah, it does," Niall agrees as he leans into the hug. 

"Done!" Harry says a moment later as he passes Niall's phone around for everyone to read the post.

 _Merry Christmas from One Direction! Thank you all for sticking by us and for being the most loyal and wonderful fans on the planet. We know the break has extended a bit further than we had originally intended, but we love you all dearly and we're happy to announce that it's finally over. We have a lot of planning ahead of us, and several details to work out, but we promise to update everyone as soon as possible. This is not the end. xx Happy holidays!_ the message reads, along with the attached group photo.

"Smashed it, babe," Liam tells Harry as he holds his hand out for a fist bump.

"Annoyingly eloquent as usual, Haz," Louis teases. 

"We're _really_ doing this," Niall chokes out suddenly. He didn't even realize he had started crying until Louis ruffles his hair and offers him a tissue. 

"Chin up, sunshine."

"Aw, baby," Harry says as he hugs Niall tightly and tilts his face up for a kiss. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Niall laughs, sniffing wetly before kissing Harry back. "It's a good cry, pet. I'm just really happy, that's all."

"Me too," Harry smiles before kissing Niall again and rubbing his cheek gently. 

"Me three," Liam chimes in as he slides up behind them and props his chin on Niall's shoulder.

"Me four," Louis says as he barrels right into them from the opposite side and wraps everyone up in a hug. 

"One Direction: assemble!" Liam shouts as he reaches around and drags Louis closer. 

"Dickhead," Louis hisses as he wraps an arm around Liam's waist. "Don't you dare make me cry."

"God, I've _really_ missed you guys," Niall sniffs again as he wipes his eyes.

"We missed you too, Nialler," Liam murmurs before leaning over to plant a kiss on Niall's cheek.

"Best Christmas ever?" Harry asks from where he's happily wedged between Liam and Niall. 

"Best Christmas _ever_ ," everyone echoes as they squeeze each other tighter. 

~*~

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I realize this idea took me way too long to actually get finished, but I'm glad I managed to get it posted in time for Christmas this year! (And I really hope everyone will enjoy it!) All comments are greatly appreciated, and you can also find me over **[here](http://prettyinsoulpunk.tumblr.com/)** on tumblr. :) 
> 
> **[Sarah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NarryMyBed/pseuds/NarryMyBed)** \- thank you for this lovely gift of a prompt, and for being so sweet and incredibly patient with me even though I took forever writing it. I just hope it was worth the wait! ♥
> 
>  **[Claudia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claudii85/pseuds/Claudii85)** \- the person who shares the other half of my brain cell(s) - thank you for being the best friend and cheerleader EVER, for being my constant inspiration, for believing I could write (and finish!) something this epic, and for never letting me give up. I love you dearly, and I really couldn't have done it without your constant encouragement. ♥
> 
> PS - if anyone's curious about my inspiration for Liam's ugly Christmas sweater and Harry's sequined blazer, those are both real things, and you can find them here: [Liam's sweater](https://di2ponv0v5otw.cloudfront.net/posts/2018/09/26/5babaf332e147837eb5e20e9/m_5babaf6bc617776e456f8de9.jpg) and [Harry's blazer](https://www.costumeagent.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/Christmas-Lights-Sequin-Jacket-2.png)!


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